So I was reading a post today and noticed how I was skimping through it just so I can drop a comment. I had to stop myself and ask:
Where are you rushing to boy?!
You've achieved most of your goals for the day; you have more than ten hours to explore as much as you can, so why the urgency? Are you going somewhere I don't know?
I have this internal dialogue with myself normally and it does help most times. We fail to realize how the subconscious mind controls most of our activities. I am sure you've had one of these moments where you cannot explain why you act or react in a certain way.
I think my sense of urgency stems from my fear of being left behind. Even my favourite quote is one laced with fear
"A little sleep….a little slumber and poverty will come over you like a wanted man."
I guess for many who haven't hit rock bottom this would be a difficult thing to understand. However, it is a constant fear I have to deal with because I understand the horrors of not having. It is not a place I ever want to be again.
I never want to get too comfortable. I feel it is the easiest way to get complacent and fall back into a place of want.
To be honest, it is a lot of pressure. I am always feeling tired and stressed but I never pay much attention to my body. I feel it is conspiring against me. I need to be agile; I need to be on the look for opportunities; I need to show up every day.
Do I?
Maybe a better approach would be to relax more and work more effectively with less time. I could go beast mode for 2-3hours everyday and have ample time to rest and connect with the things that give me joy.
All I have worked for can be gone in a heartbeat. I could get sick and die and everything will move on like I never existed. My family will continue without me--we've continued without my dad in the picture (that was a rude awakening for me).
All this chasing for material things is worthless in the end if you don't enjoy it. I don't want to have so much and not enjoy it.
Slow down… don't be a slave to your desires and dream. Cheers!