So yesterday I watched a video by my favourite vlogger 
I consider Ade a mentor of some sort. The quality of his work (both video and photography) is something I have always wanted to replicate (but failed). I love his posture in front of the camera. That is something I haven't perfected myself.
So you would understand my shock when I listened to him question his competence and creativity. However, when he told me I was one of the best writers on the blockchain I did not believe it. Just like him, I don't think my content is good enough.
I feel like a fraud most times. I attribute most of my success to chance and I am constantly fighting this fear that I will be exposed one day. Why should anyone upvote my content? I am just sharing my opinion--everyone has one.
This feeling of incompetence is the reason why I am constantly pushing myself, hoping to compensate for the lie that I think I am. Maybe if they see the effort they would disregard my flaws as a writer (should I even wear the tag 'writer'?)
This feeling of incompetence is what psychologists call imposter syndrome. Most of the competent people suffer from this feeling of inadequacy and this stems from the overvaluation of other people's ability when compared to ours.
Most competent people who suffer from imposter syndrome tend to turn down opportunities because they fear that their lies would be discovered. This can significantly mitigate growth.
I remember getting a writing job offer two months ago. At first, I was hesitant about taking the job. I felt I wasn't good enough. I had no prior experience. The only thing I have been able to manage is a small blog that I have been fortunate enough to earn from.
It has been two months into the job and I haven't had any issues with my colleagues or employers. I won't say I have written the best articles for my firm but they appreciate my work and input.
The feeling of being a fraud never truly goes away. I have learnt to live through it and provide myself with positive reinforcement whenever self-doubt tries to cripple me.
My intent with this post is to expose the lies we often tell ourselves. As with most things in life, it all boils down to narratives--what we tell ourselves. I think, if we begin to see ourselves as more competent we would take on more healthy challenges and live a fuller life. Cheers!
