Recently, I was considering leaving my apartment, which I have rented with a partner who has been living there for several years. I moved here a few months ago, even though I was not certain about the roommate or moving at all. The coordination was perfect for me to move there, as if it was divine providence, and I still wonder if it was indeed so, what my lesson should have been in this apartment.
I would be very happy to have insights and comments that could help me understand and decide what to do next. It's a long, complicated dream, but surely not boring. The whole dream is accompanied by a sense of discomfort and choking (I'm a bit claustrophobic). This is, of course, appropriate for my feeling even though the apartment is, in reality, the most luxurious I have ever lived in (it's on a high floor). My flatmate, let's call her Ana, is an amusing character but very selfish and does not share, and she is really not suicidal by the way.
~~~
And dream:
I walk after Ana In high bare mountains, at the top of one of the mountains she shows me an opening in the ground covered with planks as in an abandoned construction site. Above the pit, there is a black nylon covering the entrance. We enter through it and this is actually the entrance to the building inside the mountain (as if the entrance is from the roof to the staircase).
We descend a number of floors in total darkness. Ana wants to live on the fifth floor below. It's damp, dirty and dark there. I do not like it, but I follow her. She enters one of the rooms and stays there (in reality she was ill and therefore sat at home for a while). I keep coming back and forth, jumping up and down through the hatch, getting stuck in things in the dark.
We have things in common: I have a guitar and a tennis racket (I really have them at home) and she has a cardboard guitar and a tennis racket made of broken LEGO (both are not real, I examine them and see how fragile they are and are not suitable for playing). I go out with the guitar and the racket and also take Ana's guitar. I am riding with them on the mountain bike. A boy (an Arab ...?) steals my bike and equipment, and I get very upset. I come home crying, I do not know how to tell Ana about her guitar and down the stairs I bump into my guitar and it makes me happy to have found it.
When I come back I see that Ana opened the shutters to the balcony and I realize that we are not inside a mountain but the building is built on the side of a cliff (like monasteries) with one side sticking out into the abyss and the entire building is long and bare concrete. Above us, there is a gigantic concrete bridge. I think it's nicer than the darkness, that we live high, but I'm still uncomfortable living under the bridge and would rather live on top of it.
The dream still goes on, maybe it's less relevant. - I will tell you briefly -
Ana's mother calls and yells at her on the phone about the way she runs her life. She wants to come to Ana's building and be buried there on a floor lower than ours (?!?), i.e., to commit suicide. Ana loses her temper. She has a group of teenagers who adores her and she calls them by megaphone to go downstairs to the dark apartment. It takes me time to get to the bottom of her mind (I'm just getting out of there) and then I realize that she's going to kill herself and take all the kids with her, like a leader of a sect. I try to hint at the children gently not to go down there, but they are blinded. It kind of shocked me and then I woke up.
Comments: the tennis racquet and the guitar are related to the lack of communication between us (tennis = double game), I have real intentions for communication while Ana had never grown up (still plays with Lego).
Because I and Ana do not really speak, I do not know what's happening in her.
The dream describes your attempt to communicate with dark (unconscious) parts within you.
It begins by walking in the light, on a peak of high mountains (=the place of the soul), and then you two descend into the depths of the earth, where hidden parts of the soul lie, less conscious parts (= abandoned, black nylon, total darkness).
Ana represents those aspects for you. In her presence, she helps you to get to know them. Perhaps because she carries the same characteristics. It takes a careful examination of her, by you, to understand what the message is.
You are afraid of digging in this dark part (= "I do not like it"), so you avoid being in the darkroom but go out and come back often. In your reality, do you avoid digging into things that you do not like? Maybe even sweeping them under the rug of awareness?
~~~
Here comes an encouraging part that tells you that the darkness of which you are afraid is not real.
This is a forgery. But you can only discover this if you look closely at the darkness and examine it in depth. In other words, you first have to know the enemy to understand that it is neither threatening nor an enemy. Darkness has no substance, no power. This is also the message of Ana for you.
When you understand this message, the desired outcome occurs spontaneously - the closed shutters open and light penetrates into what you thought was a dark, gloomy place. The bridge serves as a symbol that means - what you have been through so far (connecting with the darkness) is a stage on the path you are taking. The acceptance of the unlighted parts inside you is what will bridge you across the abyss on the way to the new world you want to reach.
By the way, there is a perception that dark and evil are real. I see this as a dual reference to life (which is perfectly legitimate). As far as I am concerned, it is the very reference that gives the darkness its substance.
