The beginning of the year seems like the right time to reflect. 2024 is a year where my life has its ups and downs. More precisely, from 2023 to 2024 I lost many opportunities and also lost my identity. So, what did I do to get to know myself again?
Towards the end of the year, I started human design. To find myself again. And refresh all the things that have happened. I feel like I can be more cheerful. In 2025, I have a mission to find myself again. Doing some fun things that I seem to have forgotten to do.
If you read my story, I was severely depressed to the point where I wanted to end my life. After going to a psychologist, it turned out that I found it difficult to unravel my negative feelings. Feelings of disappointment, despair, negative comments about myself. All are still in my heart and head. Crying still continues to happen.
I have done the Black Letter method to be able to forgive many people around me. It feels like it's still nothing. Until finally, I went to Bandung, I found the latest therapy to eliminate negative feelings. The therapy is called access bars. I feel like after doing that all my negative feelings are gone.
I can accept my condition and forgive many people. One important thing from my therapist is to find my pleasure. Find that pleasure in every activity I do. He said, when that happens, I can find other opportunities.
I am not a creator. That's what my therapist said, if I take that task. He said, I will start to get frustrated and lose my identity. I need to find my pleasure. It could be playing in the rain. It could be buying childhood food that I like. The point is, free myself. Don't be influenced by the word 'must'.
Mission 2025, rediscovering myself By doing my pleasure and making that satisfaction. Feeling fast, happy and free. That way, I can find other opportunities in my life. For me, this is the real healing process. Rediscovering myself. Finding things that I enjoy and learning new things.
About the things I want to throw away, according to my therapist, just waiting for the opportunity by listening to my sacred. It needs to be trained. Starting from small things. Depression is a characteristic of me losing pleasure, losing my identity. That's all I can tell. Thank you very much.
About Author
My name is Nurdiani Latifah. I currently live in Jakarta – Indonesia, after 25 years I have been in Bandung. I am a media staff at an NGO in Indonesia. I have worked in this institution for almost 2 years on issues of women and peace. I have been a journalist in Bandung for 3 years.
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