People want to achieve the objectives standing before them. Sounds reasonable? Not necessarily.
A closer look allows us to recognize that the difficulties arising from personal inhibitions and psychological reasons cause some people to go out covertly against goals they set for themselves. I will point out some aspects of the problem.
Almost every area of our lives we find ourselves faced certain stages in front of goals: Working desirable; Degree challenging; Potential mate ... But a variety of fields and other Fe are professional, economic, social - may appear inhibitions and difficulties in achieving the goals. In some cases, the difficulties arising from external factors or objective, But in this article, I will focus on difficulties arising from internal factors.
For example, some people do not show their full interview skills, others do not dare to "conquer" spouse potential. There are also those who suffer from "blocking" in tests. In other words, there is no limit to our ways of sabotaging ourselves.
Freud, for example, referred to the sense of melancholy that appears in some people in response to the success and failures in realizing the objectives which arise from scruples associated target.
Give Me Your Best!
The Death Crawl scene from Facing the Giants.
An amazing inspiration and always worth another.
I will address the issue inhibitions to realize the goals of the two reference angles:
- The first refers to a person's inner conflict, self-flagellation consciously or unconsciously.
- The second relates to the emotional deficiencies suffered by people.
Inhibitions arising from internal conflict
When we try to get a job, we compete with other candidates. Unconsciously, as there is competition between brothers. Thus, the struggle for acceptance by an authority can be experienced as a struggle for obtaining the parent and our preference over competitors-brothers. Alternatively, progress can be experienced as a victory for parents. An awareness of these experiences may cause inhibition, as necessary assertiveness which is required to achieve goals may feel aggression which involves humbly, defeating or damage to competitors-brothers or parents. On the unconscious level, the meaning of realizing the goal may also be the injury or killing of our rivals - our loved ones, and when we are dealing with the struggle for "life and death" - the threat of vengeance also lurks.Examples of how these unconscious scripts are embedded in our psyche can be found in Stories from the Bible and in ancient myths: the Bible story of Cain & Abel, gives expression to a deadly conflict between brothers; The story of the Tower of Babel as told in Genesis and the Prometheus myth, who was punished with a terrible punishment for stealing the fire and bringing it to man, are willingly discussing paternal, divine power.
There is confusion between the life and the reality of imagination and experience to realize that goal may produce a guilty conscience and fear of retaliation. These feelings likelihood increases when the person is not carrying a good childhood experience relating to the relationship with parents and other significant figures. In all of us, there has been both aggression and love since childhood, and a positive relationship with significant characters helps the child to feel that he is not "bad" despite his aggression. Later, channel aggression into its existential goals (for example, assertiveness in a job interview).
Difficulties in expressing assertiveness and taking steps to achieve goals may also appear in trauma victims as a shock or sexual exploitation, People who experienced a severe attack of these causes much suffering and difficulties are reflected in all areas of life. One angle addressed is the fact that these people are often flooded with anger and fear and therefore experience difficulty in channeling aggression in a positive way.
Inhibition resulting from emotional deprivation
Psychologists and psychoanalysts attribute great importance to the relationship of parents with their young children. This relationship is characterized by idealization: parents experience the child as perfect ("His Highness the Child," Freud writes about this aspect), and this relationship meets the child's profound needs. In childhood, the child should be reflected in the eyes of his parents in order to be admired; An adult will protect him and bring relief. Adaptive responsiveness of the parent to these needs gives room for the idealization of the parent in the baby's eyes. This allows the baby's experience of merging with parent "omnipotent" and relaxing. These two aspects, to be objects of admiration and the possibility of assimilating into another, reassuring and omnipotent, are empathic needs. When these needs find a solution, it is possible mental growth and strengthening confidence. The subject will experience parental backing and legitimacy to fight for the goals and achievements pleasure. At the same time, the child will learn to have the ability to soothe anxieties, which will help him deal with different situations in everyday reality. When various reasons preventing an adequate response to these needs, The subject may feel insecure and will find it difficult to use aggression constructively.Difficulty progress can be tied to great fear, meaning that growth will be the loss of parental love and protection. This experience may indicate that the subject does not face enough "parents support and encourage" who want the child to progress and even "pass the parents".
In this article, I pointed to two key aspects which often stand at the base of difficulties and inhibitions in achieving personal goals. Of course, these two aspects are not exhaustive and many other factors may underlie the difficulties in this area. Professional help may help identify the causes of difficulty and expanding a person's ability to act assertively and inner freedom in order to achieve its objectives.
It is worthwhile to accept the inevitable failures in life as an important part of the learning process. We must not let failures define us, and we have to remind ourselves all the time that we always have the right to choose how to think and what to focus on ...
Images:
Picture of the elephant
Cain & Abel
The picture of the child
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