This story is and expansion of a dream that I had a couple of days ago. I vaguely remember the beginning of the dream, so I'll have to improvise a little bit, but it's just a story anyway. I embellished a good portion of story anyway. Although the part about my sister is true, none of the evil stuff is true, nor do I wish for it to be true, except maybe the implied ending. I've already told my wife the story and she thought it was funny. I hope you will too.
I finally got enough money to be able to get to Texas to visit my parents who are both in their mid to late 80's. I was happy because I was wondering if I would ever make it there before it was too late. I arrived the morning of 25 March and was looking forward to a nice long 5-week vacation. You can do what when you're on vacation and retired.
I had been there for exactly a week and having a great visit. I had already gone to my kidney sister's grave (I donated a kidney to her back on 19 April 1995). I was not able to be there when she was sick, in the hospital or her funeral (23 August 2021), so, after seeing my parents, that was a must visit.
I then decided that it would be a good idea to go visit some of my other relatives. Although most of them in this area are younger than me, you just never know. Some of them, younger than I am now, have already passed, like my sister.
My son was the next stop on my list. I went by his apartment to see him, but he was not home, he was at work. My fault, surprise visit. The trip was not wasted though, as it turned out that one of my cousins lived right next door and he was standing out front watering his lawn.
He is actually the only remaining male first cousin that I have on my father's side of the family. All the others have died through the years.
We were talking close to 20 minutes, as I was waiting for my son to maybe get home from work, when I noticed his eyes get large and I saw fear travel across his eyes. As I started to turn to see what he was looking at, I feel myself being grabbed and dragged to the ground. I was a bit surprised that, whoever it was, did it with such ease, because I'm not a small guy, weighing well over 300 pounds (136 kilos). As I'm being dragged across the ground toward the road and an awaiting dark sedan, I get a glimpse of a couple of the guys. They all seem to be wearing dark glasses.
One of the guys stayed back and was talking to my cousin, I assume informing him as to what was going on. I wish I knew what was going on. It looked like Men in Black to me and maybe they were erasing my cousin's memory of the incident, as he seemed to be standing there in shock.
I kept trying to wiggle free to confront these guys to find out what was going on, but they actually had 3 guys pulling me along. No escape. As they put me in the back seat of their vehicle, where there was another man in dark glasses waiting. they finally identified themselves. The taller of the 3 said, "FBI, you're under arrest for the murder of your wife".
I'm dumbfounded. What? Not really believing what I just heard. Through tears in my eyes, because they are telling me that my wife is dead, I trying to tell them that they must have the wrong man because I just left my wife a week ago and she was alive and well. Of course, I realize that most people in my situation might say the same thing, but I knew it to be true.
So, I'm taken down to the Bell County Jail. A place that I had been to only 1 other time. A newer facility on the outskirts of town, actually a decent place for a jail of its size. I'm processed and taken to what I assumed was a waiting tank. Just waiting for them to start interrogating me. I'm sitting there. I'm sad, mad, frustrated and just generally unhappy.
I'm sad because of the possibility of my wife being dead. I'm mad at the procedure that was used to arrest me and frustrated because no one was even making an attempt to listen to me. It started out to be such a good day. How things have taken a turn for the worse.
Finally, someone shows up and escorted me to an interrogation room. It's a long walk when you have to be handcuffed, walking by so many people, staring at you. In fact, I was pretty sure that I recognized a few of the people there.
In the interrogation room, they grill me. Sometimes asking me the same question over again, using different words. I know how this works. They are just trying to trip me up, trying to get me to expose something. I just kept as calm as possible to not be tricked into answering a question incorrectly. Hey! I know I'm innocent, so all I have to do is tell the truth and play their little game.
After only about 15 minutes they said, "Okay, let's go". I'm thinking, why so short of a time? On tv you see where "criminals" are interrogated for hours. Had I said something that convinced them that I was innocent? Or maybe I made an error, and they were going to continuing processing me through to "the slammer". I'm so nervous.
To my bewilderment, I was taken to an empty court room. Empty except for a judge behind the bench. Again, I'm thinking, this is not the normal procedure. What is going on? I figure that now was not the time for these questions. If I get "officially" charged, then I'll get a court appointed lawyer and let him do the talking for me. I'm not very good at keeping my mouth shut when I know that I'm in the right, but I kept telling myself that is exactly what I'm going to do right now.
The judge began by reading the charges set against me. Then he asked me how do I plea? I answered with a strong, not too loud, "Not Guilty". This was not going well. He then asked me if I had anything to say. I explained my whole story to him from the time I left the Philippines up until my abrupt arrest only about an hour before. Explaining that if my wife was dead, it was impossible for me to have done it and I needed to get back to the Philippines to find out just exactly what was going on. I also mentioned that I never got my phone call. He asked me if I wanted to make that call now. Again, not normal procedure. What the hell? No time for complaining.
My plan, since I didn't have a lawyer to call or want to upset my parents, was to use Messenger and contact my wife in the Philippines so they could see her, and she could also get our marriage certificate and pictures of use together to prove she was she and that we are married. Then I realized that I cannot use my Messenger account to call my Messenger. Now what?
The solution was to call Nening (our house lady) on her Messenger. She would have to be the one to get the certificate and the pictures anyway. She would also be able to get my wife to the phone so the judge could compare her to the pictures. I just hoped that Nening had her phone with her and answered it.
As it turned out, none of it mattered. As I was getting ready to call and before he could even pound his gavel again, he asked me to direct my attention over to the right. I looked over there and all I saw was a projection screen, a couple of tables and a few chairs. Thinking I was about to see something on that screen, I impatiently waited.
Finally, the screen moved and 3 of my friends yelled "April Fools". I look around the room that is now filled with about 20 other people, including the, so called, FBI agents. Only a few of them I knew, the rest well paid actors and curious onlookers. Everyone then erupted in hysterical laughter. I was laughing too, but more of a nervous laughter.
The next day I had to go by to see the judge again. It seems that 3 of my friends (the masterminds) mysteriously disappeared last night.
The good news here is, of course, that it was all only a dream. Even if it was only a joke, that is an extreme joke. I actually do not have any friends that would go to such an extreme. Not any adult friends anyway. Maybe in my teenage years. The bad news is I still have not been able to save enough money to get to Texas to see my parents, my sister's grave, my son, grandsons, brother or other sisters. I'm still working on it. Hopefully, it will be before it is too late.
As I mentioned, my wife thought it was funny and even mentioned that I probably had such a dream because of the movies I had watched the day before. Nening, when I told her, said the same thing.
I hope it was a fun read for everyone. Do any of you have friends that would go to such extremes for a joke?
Photo: PixabayPixabay - Artist: kalhh
Howdy y’all. It’s me, ninong7 aka UJ aka John. Just a short intro about myself. I am a Texan that has retired in the Philippines. I moved to the Philippines with my wife back in May 2010. I am retired from the US Air Force. The music I like is mostly Classic Country and Classic Rock. I guess you could say that I am “Classic”. I play dominoes when I can find someone that will play, I play chess, cribbage, spades, hearts, Empire Builder, Rail Baron, Acquire and a few other games. I like to write poems and stories (although pretty novice) and I love learning about history, just about any history. I’m at home on my computer a lot but if I could afford to, I’d be traveling and documenting my travels to post in my blog. I hope to get to know a lot of you through PeakD and Discord.
