Hello everyone 😊
I will continue my story here. If you haven't read the Part 1, please read it first here My Mental Health Journey (Part 1)
I hope through this writing many people will feel blessed and become more aware about mental health.
Bipolar disorder is a mental illness that causes unusual shifts in a person’s mood, energy and ability to think clearly. People with bipolar experience high (mania or hypomania) and low moods (depression). If left untreated, bipolar disorder usually worsens. However, with a good treatment plan including psychotherapy, medications, a healthy lifestyle, a regular schedule and early identification of symptoms, many people live well with the condition.
Hormonal problems: Hormonal imbalances might trigger or cause bipolar disorder. Environmental factors: Abuse, mental stress, a “significant loss,” or some other traumatic event may contribute to or trigger bipolar disorder.
Before I experience this I didn't even know about mental disorders. But now I know it's really hard to live with mental disorder. Bipolar Disorder affect all parts of my life. It's not easy living with unpredictable mood like a roller coaster. I feel like living an unsure life. on my first 2 months having Bipolar Disorder I deniyed my condition. I didn't have reason to live anymore, it feels like I'm died already.
The challenges from within has been so great, plus the negative stigmas of the people around me also add to my pressure. First I told the people closest to me about my situation, I was seen as lacking of faith, lack of prayer or just because I didn't forgive someone. Other stigmas that circulate in the community, make me feel labeled or judged by my environment. It makes me more depressed and shut down. Plus if I hear other people making mental disorders into jokes, I was very upset because it was a very painful and difficult thing to experience, but they're laughing easily about it.
The worst effect was my extrem mood swing, it's like roler coaster. I felt so tired on feeling depreesed but suddenly I could change became full of energy until I couldn't stop doing many things. It made me live in uncertainty.
So difficult to control my mood and emotion. To get enough and good sleep also difficult for me. It made me not productive on work days because of my condicition. But I feel grateful that I have supportive work enviroment.
Every day I need to drink so many medicines to balance my hormons that can balance my mood also, to make me able to sleep, for my depression and other things. Sometimes I felt bored and didn't want to drink medicine. But it can be dangerous if I skip the medications. Good thing I have friend who remind me always to drink my medicine. That's the importance of having support system or care giver on my recovery.
The key of my recovery is acceptance. After I accepted my condition of having bipolar disorder, I feel better and want to do all my treatment well. I'm also grateful the more here the people closest to me are also increasingly accepting me and supporting me. The support and love they provided gave me hope and strength to recover soon and moreover made me not give up.
For months I hid from people around me. I don't want them to know that I have Bipolar disorder. But hiding something and pretending that I'm okay actually consumes more of my energy and my focus. It makes me so tired. So instead of me hiding, I'd better to be open so I can focus more on my recovery. Up to what people are saying. I don't care if I have to lose my job or friends because they know I have bipolar disorder.
I need to be brave enough to open this up because as a leader I am afraid that the people I lead will feel disappointed if they know their leader has a mental disorder. But the urge in my heart is getting bigger to be open. I prefer to be known as a leader in all of my weaknesses, imperfections and limitations, I'm not giving up with this responsibility, because of God who gives me strength.
Another thing that drives me to be open is that I want to spread awareness of the importance of mental health. I didn't know much about mental health in the past and only focused on my physical and spiritual health. Until I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder mixed type, I realized that I had not cared for my mental health. So for everyone, take care of your mental health from now on. Do things that are fun for you to relieve stress. Don't hesitate to talk with your family, friends or mentors if you have a problem. Even if you have to talk to a psychologist it's a good thing, it's not strange or shows that you are weak.
In addition, I also want to encourage everyone out there who have been suffering in silence, hiding behind your smiles even though your soul struggles in pain. You are not alone, friend. I am the one who is struggling. Come out, get help. Don't close yourself from the help and love of those around you. Experiencing depression, anxiety disorders or other mental disorders is normal, just like when our body catch a cold or suffer from fever. So it's only normal that we also need to see a doctor, seek help for our mental health. It doesn't mean that we do not believe or do not rely on God.
People often ask about whether people with bipolar disorder can be cured? There are many people and mental health practitioners who say they cannot be cured. But I believe that I can recover. I believe in faith that this condition is only temporary and that God is working in everything to bring goodness.
it proofed now, after more than one year being discipline on drinking the medicines, did all the treatment, being patient, keep on praying and not giving up, finally I can be recover. I finished my treatment, my psychiatrist declared that I am stable already and can stop the medication.
Now I still live with the bipolar but I can hendle it now. I can live the normal life without any medication. But the different is now I need to take care of my mental health more. I should live a healthy life style, be careful and make sure to hinder some triggers that can make me relapse.
But I am good now, enjoy my life and feel stronger now.
For all Bipolar Survivors out there, let's continue to believe and continue to hope, we can definitely recover. This hope is our strength and hope does not disappoint. For all care giver, thank you for not giving up on us. Thank you for caring and accepting us for who we are. Please believe that all the love you give, all the patience to face us, it will not be in vain :)
Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. – Rom 5 : 3-5, NIV
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Welcome to Nike's blog site in Hive. She is a friendly girl who loves to write and tell story. She lives in Indonesia.
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