So I had to ask 
Because time. And ticking. And over two months to get to South Africa. And not feeling so great again some days. Seriously, though... I went away to see possible accommodation on a farm last weekend and spent most of the glorious weather lying in bed because I get so tired some days now. Not so fun.
I reckon it's the ongoing stress.
And, as they say, "desperate times call for desperate measures". Hippocrates
I'm, consequently, doing a bit of the consumerism thing that I rail against so hard that I spend more time struggling financially than I'd like to. Or am able to at this point. It's an ongoing conundrum and I've yet to work it out.
But I have my principles and always put those first. And greed and taking more than you give is one of my absolute pet hates! Can't stand it. Right up there with lying.
And such behaviour is, arguably, the reason humanity is in the state that it's in now. Not so lekker for the givers and carers
Offer a decent product that you like, yourself. And that you believe in because it generates summink good for all involved!
And preferably always give more than you take. - The Way of The Pippin(s)
So I'm back to t-shirts and it has taken me over a year to find a supplier, do some print samples - when I could finally afford to buy my own samples! Nuts, huh? - and to get them all the way from the U.S of A. to South Africa.
I had to check the tee bodies and print quality myself. And the wash and print quality as well.
Pedantic, I know.
But my dad was a big clothing manufacturer, into ethics and good product, and he trained me well. I wouldn't want to disappoint him.
It's also not in my nature to deliver a shirty product or rip anybody off...
just so that I can grab some easy cash. Ground Control to Major Tom Ugh! David Bowie - Misquoted
Nope. I'd never hustle anybody.
Not even if I am sick and in a kinda desperate situation. There's never an excuse to behave like a shirt-head. It's how you choose to navigate life that makes, in my opinionated opinion, all the difference to your own peace of mind and actual inner joy.
Very "Woo Woo", yeah! But, honestly... this is the way to proper healthy psychological individuation and recovery. There ain't no getting away from this part.
Laziness also makes me want to kinda vomit, to be even clearer. Do the work yourself and don't take short cuts! 馃
Also... someone could get hurt or even die. Although some folks aren't wired to give much of a shirt about that! We should accept this, I guess, because there are quite a lot of them running around now.
I blame Capitalism. For real, this time.
But I also still believe that "we the people" can change the behaviour.
I'm pushing to bring in da money, now, for that health thing and some blood tests. I don't like to ask for free money.
When you, maybe, read more of the story of how I reached the stage where I can walk through some fire without much fear, you'll understand why this is so important to me now. And always has been
For now... I'm pushing on the shirts because I love t-shirts!
Why do I love t-shirts?
Well... they connect people.
And I'm all about the connection.
聽
Back when I traded markets and made a pretty massive range of t-shirts, I spent a day wearing one of my own shirts while I was running around doing fun admin-y things like banking and paying suppliers.
For an entire day, as I stood in queues and waited my turn for all that bureaucracy and bleugh...
people kept smiling at me.
Not just smiling. Making actual eye-contact and grinning at me.
In the queues; in the street as I was walking to the queues; and on Greenmarket Square, while I counted stock on my stall.
All day. People making actual eye-contact and grinning at me.
Now...
I love making eye contact and smiling at people while I meander about. But I loathe admin. I guess that's why I suck at it so very badly. So bit grumpy that day, you see.
Yeah I smiled back, distractedly, for the first hour or two.
But, by the afternoon of busy admin on a beautiful summer day; in a busy tourist driven summer season city, I was getting a liddle irritated. Short, half-smiles then.
And a bit of grumping to myself wondering why tf people kept at it.
聽
Please 'scuse language. I know this is prolly one of the roughest words you can use.
聽
Best said with a British accent and one of the English DJs, who lived out here in the 90s, bought one. And then returned, a few years later, to buy a second one because his shirt was worn out from being worn... well... out so much! Very flattering 馃槉
聽
Also, back then, I was pretty hardcore and I'd cottoned on to a burgeoning market for punchy, funny, provocative t-shirts. The one I mention, up above there, was the Coca Cola logo font (type face for those who aren't into design much).
Like this.
Original source
So "Complete C*nt" written in that Coca-Cola font up there...
in bright red, black and white, on a royal blue t-shirt.
They should have called it "Corporate Cola", maybe. Don't steal that, please. I may make some, in fact...
It "popped", I tell ya! But was only for those who were bold enough to have been there and got the t-shirt.
I was wearing one that day. And some folks thought I was hilarious. 馃槅
Yeah. I love t-shirts.
Because they do connect people. And they can also be used to share some pretty wonderful social dialogue.
My biggest seller, for around four years straight, was a rip-off of a famous print that was being copied by almost everyone and was all over the internet.
Of course I wouldn't dream of doing this now after learning more about Fr3edom and R3spect
馃憞
Search on Brave
Exactly this print and it's still being used and sold, apparently. This store is where I dug this up from
Gossip / propaganda (same thing) literally can get people killed.
"1. "Be Impeccable With Your Word"
The Four Agreements, Ruiz
Original Source
I wouldn't be this sick and this desperate, by the way, if it weren't for malicious gossip. #harassment
And if folks hadn't listened to the gossip, and participated to be sure, my side of things may have actually been heard and my son and I wouldn't be in the position we're in right now.
Nobody has the time, these days, to fact check. This is a "Major Tom" Problem now
And, always, preconceived judgement and unconscious bias and prejudice are to actually blame.
We are all, after all, only human.
These days, understanding more about "human nature", I never believe anything someone says about an anyone who isn't present to respond. I mean... the fact that a someone is saying a something about another someone, without them being around to hear it...
well... I think we all get how this works now.
No. These days, I always speak to everyone involved, do due diligence to make sure I know enough to speak or act responsibly and only then do I feel as though I can make some kind of (maybe) positive contribution to a situation.
Still... I can be a bit of a fluffy kitten.
I did warn you but, after fighting like a crazy woman I've ended up returning to the "an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind" thing. Ghandi almost quoted correctly Also... being resentful is an awful way to walk in the world.
What the solution or happy balance is I do not know.
Perhaps we humans are simply too complex for any one way to work for all of us. And the situations we find ourselves in are also too complex...
for the same reason.
And so... I keep returning to punting radical individuation as a way to prevent the "mob" or "pack" mentality that we seem to fall into so easily. And which can cause so much harm.
I don't support this behaviour either because this is also what destroyed a lot of the life I worked very hard to create, by the way.
Smear campaigns / propaganda can be used in ways that are, truly, diabolical. If you add the fear of stepping outside of popular opinion and our survival instinct / "jealousy" or fear of our place in the social heirarchy into the mix...
well...
Please 馃挏
聽
So I asked Witty if he'd receive some samples for the final t-shirt prints, to save me precious time, because I need to attend to this health stuff. And I said that he could keep one as a thank you for the mission.
"Good quality shirts. Nice printing and prints. The "Live Free" print is a bit faded."
Or summink similar to that. I can't quote it exactly as the thread was deleted.
But the "Life Free" a bit faded, apparently.
That's the one he chose to keep for himself so it can't be all bad. But I also can't promote not all good either products, so I'm not advertising this one for sale, sadly. If I manage to fix it properly, I'll put it back up on the storefront because this one was actually my favourite one of all.
It means a lot to me and you'd have to know about the subtleties and nuances of the design, to understand why it I love it so.
Bit bummed, actually.
You may remember the first design for this one from way back in Pringle Bay, December 2022.
Photos, kindly sent by Witty, of the actual samples
R3sist 馃敟
Resist the "survival instinct", to be clear.
Because that pesky fear driven shirt drives us to make very not so constructive, not even conscious "choices".
I'm just too tired to test the payment gateway, on my website, but the store is finally done. Mission! I loathe building E-Commerce sites and someone has been trying to cause a bit of trouble on mine so I lost more days fixing stuff.
Unnecessary. I can't even
My point is... I'm taking orders here on Hive Thrift (at last, because I did chat to 
In fact... I'd love to see every kind of product, service and whatever offered on this blockchain in exchange for Hive. To support members of this community and create a healthy system that may attract even more users.
Of course...
we humans are going to have to deal with some of our unconscious behaviour and reactions that may be preventing this. Here on Hive but mostly, on a bigger scale, in our societies at large.
So back to that "Shadow Work" we were going to maybe have a go at...
Maybe... because right now I need to address my health (again)...
because of other people's unresolved "stuff".
Again. 馃槓
I'm not healthy or materially stable enough to withstand the storm of other people's unconscious anymore, by the way. I think, because of this "shift" we are in, that it's even more intense now as well.
So I'm considering withdrawing for a while, actually. More isolation. More animals (馃挀 !) More making with my hands. Less talking. More music. Less Drama. Less stress. More peace!
Just to stay safe.
It's not that I'm afraid of people, by the way.
There's a saying that goes summink like: "hurt people, hurt people".
And this one, also, happens to be entirely true. It's also more obviously true, for me, because of the impact it has on me physically now. It's pretty brutal.
Assumption is the mother of all f*ckups so always ask for clarity. It's faster and simpler. And safer for people. 馃挍
I'm mentality Titanium, these days, but my body just can't keep up with the stress of other people's fears and "dream" - and their subsequent actions - anymore.
Respectfully asking those who have lied, and have caused my isolation and financial bottom out because of this, to simply make this right, please. With some urgency. "I'm sorry" isn't an apology. If the behaviour isn't amended, an "I'm sorry" is only more manipulation. Please tell the truth?
To those who feel too guilty and ashamed (or jealous, because pesky animal instinct though wtf anyone would be jealous about, at my very real situation is bordering on bizarre to engage at all... your shame and embarrassment / survival instinct could kill me.
Please get over yerselves.
With thanks - from every human on the planet, who is in a
difficult"taboo" situation. And why we are gonna have to talk about some Taboos to "fix" this "fear", perhaps. It's not personal, you know.馃憜 馃槈 Of course... if we all loved and accepted ourselves fully, a "Taboo" wouldn't be so skawey and we'd all be much more liberated and at peace. We'd also be far less easy to manipulate. All human constructs. Nothing to fear at all. #justsayin Who's afraid of the dark?
And if we we all felt more secure in the world, we wouldn't have to compete with each other quite so hard and may collaborate better and become even stronger. #unitedwestandallthat
Gods and Goddesses I do wish I'd know some of this stuff sooner! 馃槓
What a waste of precious time and who knows how much any of us have left.
I'm most certainly not wasting my time on bull-shirt anymore.
p.s. Most of it is bull-shirt. You'd think we humans would remember this more by now.馃檮
But my shirts aren't bull-shirt. So buy one and support a desperate mom an independent artist, who's trying to change the world...
one word at a time.
Or I'll do it anyway because it keeps me busy and I don't get out much anymore.
Because some people 馃憖
Note: Um... too tired to open up the web-store for folks to choose colours and sizes right now. I need to do some security stuff before I do because... well... People! 馃憖 馃槅
So if you're interested in buying a shirt please drop a comment and, if there's enough interest, I'll do the work to get you access to place an order in the colour, size and style (yep - style) you desire. No time to waste! Prices vary between $24 - $32 depending on the style of the top. Delivery according to region on planet Earth. Dollar cost converted to Hive to pay here with ease.
Let me know if you'd like to see some options.
Streamlining seems most intelligent now. 馃憤
Eternal Seeker
Hardened Dreamer
Mother
Peaceful Warrior
Determined Dancer
and Stargazer
still...
Beyond fear is freedom
And there is nothing to be afraid of.
To Life, with Love... and always for Truth!
Nicky Dee
Featured image taken from Wallpapers.com.
All images not directly sourced are my own for this one. All photo editing done with GIMP.
