But by the time I turned myself in, it was almost over

There is your answer <3

"Turned myself in"

So this was not love. It was the sensation/feeling that you were being hunted. Who would want to pick up, my friend?

Sorry you had a day. Some days we have more resilience than others to deal with family and whatever. We're taught that family is the big bond; blood is thicker than water and all that... but when our family carries multi-generational trauma, and less healthy behaviour because of it, and it hurts us by rote... we need to maybe see it clearly and know it isn't "us".

I found this helpful to accepting the less healthy dynamics and side-stepping the sometimes hurt more easily.

Not sure if I'm on target here as all is open to interpretation.

I do know your mind a bit and it's a good one. And rare in it's courage and open-mindedness. Sometimes, people like us just don't fit in much :D

I think we may scare folks a bit, actually? 🤔