Maybe his purpose was to crash and burn
so the rest of us could learn.
I meant to write a very important post on "purpose", to share my very important experience and opinion, so that I can maybe help other people because they need help
or whatever.
But I'm taking a break today.
Although I should be working
it
The clouds are really beautiful today
by the way.
I just got back from my walk
to find a notification I set for myself
on my phone
to get a decent routine going
so that I can be more healthy and productive.
10am
Meditate and tea break
Today I find it funny
although a few days ago I'd have found the same thing sad.
It's both, really.
I was going to take some photos of the clouds for you
but today I don't think it's worth bothering about.
Is this enlightenment
or depression?
I have to say enlightenment
or they may lock me up and take my children away
without asking why
So it must be enlightenment then.
Because this is a fact.
I was going to take some photos of the clouds for you today
but I don't care enough to carry my phone for anyone today.
To be honest.
Is not caring enlightenment
or sociopathic?
Or is it pragmatic and adult?
I have to say enlightenment, pragmatic and adult
or they may lock me up and take my children away
without asking why.
Here's a screenshot of someone else's intellectual property while we try to work it out.
because I can't be assed to make my own art today
or maybe I'm too scared of the consequences of owning it
and saying it.
although today I can't be assed to figure out if
it's my place to say it
or whether I should bother much with saying all this anymore
because the only thing I honestly know now
is that none of us will ever really know.
So why bother fighting about it anyway?
When the clouds are so beautiful today.
I could write a book maybe
that people will never read
and if they do will make them feel
too ashamed to admit anything anyway.
It doesn't seem worth the effort really.
So I'll just agree with this person
and they're right as well
although my opinion of this
could change tomorrow
and does every second.
Or is both always.
But that's too complicated and too much work to explain today
because I'm taking a day off.
Also
they're right and I like what they did
and other people did too.
So I guess it's okay
or safe anyway.
And I can't be assed to fight about it today
because I'm taking a day off.
Tomorrow I may be working though
and may not have the time
to take those photos of the clouds for you either.
And they will look different tomorrow anyway.
By the way
I just looked outside and looked up
and those clouds are already different.
I finally managed to get a vague photograph of this for you yesterday, when I did make a video for you and was actually carrying a phone.
Today I can't be assed to share the video. I don't think it's worth it. For both of us. Pointless dialogue mostly and I'm coming to be comfortable with silence for realsies.
For the last few years I've felt like an exile. And I was.
In the desert and all that fine philosophical stuff.
Again...
it's already been said and far, far better than I could say it.
So I'll save myself the time now.
Because time.
Except now I choose to be an exile.
More progress.
But that's pretty much the whole and entirety of Cape Town you're seeing right there.
From the tip of Cape Point to the City Centre and Lion's Head on the far right. Fuck, sorry. I mean Signal Hill.
You can see the whole one side of the peninsula from the beach in Pringle Bay on a clear day.
Small. Isn't it?
Tiny really!
It seems far bigger and far more important when you're in it.
From this perspective I can't quite believe I took it all so seriously.
I ran into another exile, from the Cape Town Trance scene, on the beach yesterday.
I made the apology I wanted to make for a while now, and it went something like this:
"I'm sorry I was never at his send off."
"It wasn't because I didn't care."
"It was because I did care."
And then I shared my last memory of him.
Funny... it was at the exact same event, and the last time I went to one of these events, that got her to this beach on this very day this year...
that I saw him for the final time.
Earthdance 2018.
"Smile!" he said, as we walked past each other on our way to different destinations that day.
If I'd know it was the last time I would see him I would've stopped to hug him goodbye.
But I was busy getting somewhere.
He was right though.
Smile!
And I didn't take it the wrong way because I knew him.
He was also about government and freedom.
Our common ground.
Also... I liked him so much because he genuinely didn't give a fuck.
Because he authentically did give more fucks than most people.
Well see here...
I wasn't even going to write today.
I'm busy looking for steady income now.
It's very important, you know.
Gym membership sign photo, above, taken for a post I may never bother to write.
Human met on the way and during the process that needs a bit of assistance.
Photo taken with his consent to share for the post I can't be assed to write. In fact... we talked for some time and he asked me to include him so...
Also... I shared the comedy of the post I was going to write and we had a laugh about it together.
His real name is actually "Zvousche" and I emailed it to myself as we talked, so that I'd remember the spelling. I asked him his real name when he told me his name is "Prosper".
Black folks in South Africa adopt "white" names that are easier for us to remember, because we white folks can't be assed to learn another language. We don't think we're racist though so it's okay, I guess.
I think all beliefs and dogma dehumanise any human who believes differently, you know.
But I can't be bothered to figure out why today anyway.
That's more divine comedy right there, isn't it?
Of course humour is a totally subjective thing.
Like art.
And most things in life, I guess.
I would say it's a godless world right now.
If I still believed in gods and monsters.
No disrespect intended.
This is only my experience.
Yet when I stop and listen for a while, I always find an almost magical synchronicity is revealed.
Maybe there is something somewhere.
We ask a lot of questions but, in truth, we can't be bothered to listen to the answers when they present themselves.
We're just too busy, you know.
Also... we know everything already mostly.
A shout out to a human, on HIVE, who didn't just walk on by and facilitated the purchase of a new laptop so that I can continue to share my art or whatever.
I'm using it to pay it forward as always and thank you for your trust in me.
Yeah... a someone around here appreciates my whatever enough to have reached out to stop the power down I had to initiate for health and tech reasons.
It only takes one, you know. To keep the ball rolling.
There's a war going on and we can ignore it or step up now.
Ooooh... scary!
Okay lemme entertain you, rather.
Here's a track I heard while I was at an underground techno party, that I had to stumble along on my own in the dark for a kilometre or so to find, on a beach somewhere miles away from town , back in the 90s.
I was on the dance-floor, under the stars, tripping balls (of course), when this track came on.
I shat myself in all honesty.
Like almost froze heart attack on the dancefloor bad tripping balls.
The idea that I'd been sucked into some weird cult and they were trying to reprogram us right there on the beach.
Imagine that
I hope you get up and dance a bit.
Although to be fair...
this is very, very dated.
This was way, way before Psychedelic Trance hit Cape Town, after all.
Listening to it now. It's still brilliant.
I may remix it, in fact.
Please don't steal my intellectual property.
Although if you believe in the collective unconscious this is fuckin' hilarious as well.
"Is there anybody out there?" *stolen and unsourced because everybody knows this surely?
Anyone in the Cape Town area that has work / accomodation in exchange for work contact Prosper / Jouse on WhatsApp asap, please.
He also has admin and office skills, ran logistics for HR / staff time tables etc for a store. References available, I'm sure.
Please talk to him directly as I'm also trying to make way my here right now and I'm still pretty tired. Doing what I can right now and always. And not for the upvotes, which is why I get to say wtf I choose to anyway.
And this part isn't gonna change.
I'm a willing exile after all now.
Call Prosper directly on WA: (+21) (0) 73 485 6962
Eternal Seeker
Hardened Dreamer
Mother
Peaceful Warrior
Determined Dancer
and Stargazer
still...
Beyond fear is freedom
And there is nothing to be afraid of.
To Life, with Love... and always for Truth!
Nicky Dee
Artwork incorrectly sourced and no credit given because the artist gets it so who cares anyway and maybe some of it is mine and I don't care either today.
With only P.L.U. and always Respect
