"I'm pregnant." Seline breathed out in the middle of the once-a-month dinner her family usually had. "I'm on the second month and I don't know who the father is."
All eyes turned to the tenth child of the household. The room was filled with nothing but deafening silence and Seline was already regretting ever saying those words. But she just actually found the courage to speak it after getting advice from her best friend so she was definitely not backing down.
Seline was eighteen when she found herself pregnant with the child of an unknown man. She did her best to trace the man who had a one night stand with her but it was like he just blinked out of existence! Or perhaps he was just good at hiding his tracks.
'Ugh! I'm never drinking to the point of blacking out ever again!' she promised herself mentally when she found out.
"Abort it." said one of her older brothers, Hector.
Seline did not expect that answer, especially not from her fifth older brother. Her family was religious and her older brother who just spoke was someone who strived to be a priest.
"What?" she replied, a little shaken.
"There should be some natural remedy." Hector added. She saw him turn to their eldest sister Dina who was a doctor. "Mahogany seeds? If I'm not mistaken."
"I... I suppose."
"I agree with your brother." the head of the family, Seline's father spoke up. "It will be a shame for an illegitimate child to be born into the Castillo Family. Into this Castillo Family of ours."
Seline watched as nobody voiced out any opposition.
Their family usually appeared as an old clan that had supported the town they resided in since a long time ago. Their ancestors were one of the few who first settled in the area and founded the town even before the Spaniards colonized them in the 1500s.
The Castillo Family was an old family whose heritage and wealth stretched back since ancient times. The name was probably changed over and over again throughout history to keep their bloodline safe, but its traditions were kept firm and intact. Which meant her family was a traditionalist, and getting pregnant before marriage was a big no-no for them.
"But father, the child is-" her father cut her off.
"You are a graduating student Seline. You must focus on your studies so you can become a doctor like Dina. You must be a role model for Helen and Beth. I will not accept a child who will sully the name of the family."
Seline just stared agape. She had always feared her father. He was strict and he ruled their family with a stern hand. Her father, with his greying hair and face deprived of expressions was not a gentle man.
"The child did not do anything father. They're innocent!"
"A shame nonetheless."
"I can't believe this!" she raged, standing up from her seat.
Seline was about to leave but her older brother caught her hand, stopping her.
"Don't." she heard him whisper but she took back her hand and started walking away.
"Seline." she heard her father call which made her stop on her tracks. "If you walk away now, you might find yourself cut off from this family."
Seline took a deep breath. "I will not become a murderer."
Without looking back, Seline walked away. Those that remained in the dining table were silent, eyes darting at everyone looking for someone who would speak up first.
"Don't worry father." Hector spoke up. "She will realize her mistake."
"She better be." the family's patriarch replied. "Neri, find out who the father of her child is. It should be easy if you use my name to talk to the director of the Bureau."
"Yes father."
Meanwhile, Seline was at her cousin's house. She was crying her eyes out, thinking of the possible ways her own father can destroy her life if she did not follow his words. She had witnessed it before, when her oldest brother impregnated someone and ran away from the marriage. The family had cut their connections with him and the last thing she knew her oldest brother was working as a jeepney driver in the city at some other province.
"Seline." she heard her cousin, Cherry, call her. She had been consoling her for quite some time now.
"He... he wants me to murder an innocent child. I... I can't do that!"
"I know. I understand. But Seline, you can't do this alone. We have to at least find the father."
"We already tried Cherry!" Seline snapped. "But no one can find him! It's like he never existed in the first place!"
Seline cried for a few more hours. She did not know what to do. She did not want to be pregnant, she was still young. She was not ready!
But she did not want to take a life. An innocent one at that.
All of a sudden, she remembered the words of her grandmother who passed away three years ago.
"Destiny is something we cannot defy my little Seline, but how to get there is up to us. Do not let others dictate your decisions. Do not let them tell you what you will be and who you will become. The Castillo Family is where it is because they did not let others tell them what to do. You are a Castillo Seline, do not let others say otherwise."
Seline was close with her grandmother before her death. She had always listened to her advices and she cried a river when she passed away.
With that in mind, Seline had finally reached a decision.
"I will be keeping the child father." Seline stated as she stood in front if her father's desk. "I will stop my studies and work for the sake of my child."
"So you will not abort it?" Seline answered his question with a nod. "And you will never change your mind?"
"No."
That was the last time Seline spoke to her father. Her siblings had helped her in secret to get by and she was thankful for that. She had decided that while she may have many regrets in life, keeping and giving birth to the child in her womb was never one of those.
Seventeen years later, the child in Seline's womb; Mira, would have many achievements neither her family nor her had expected.
~The End
A/N: Yeah, the whole thing was probably confusing. 馃槄
