I just read 
A few weeks ago, it hit me that I’ve been a perfectionist for literally my whole life and I only came to terms with it then.
Looking back to when I was in primary school, anyone who dared step on my polished black shoe and white socks would have to wipe it clean. I didn’t care who it was , just know you were going to clean my shoe if you stepped on me so the best thing to do was to walk well. Funny enough, I started the whole shoe cleaning thing in my school and within a few days, everyone was doing same. With time, my mates started to avoid being rowdy and everything was in order which meant no more students running around and no one stepping on my shoe.
In senior high school, during those days we had something called ‘dumsor’ which translates into turn it off and on. Basically, we had power outages almost everyday and we even got a calendar for days when we would have light and days we wouldn’t. Poor me wouldn’t want to go to school on days we didn’t have light because that meant my uniform wouldn’t be ironed and I couldn’t show up looking like a clown.😂
To make myself feel happy about my uniform looking presentable, I would lay it down under my bedsheet the night before and by morning it would be looking as ironed as ever. On nights like this, I made sure to not roll too much during the night.😂
Fast forward to university, my roommates in first year started to call me ‘madam gold’ because I always complained about any little dirt around. We had a shared kitchen for the whole floor and you can imagine how the place looked after some people used it. On days when I want to use the kitchen, I would sweep the whole kitchen which wasn’t small at all before bringing my stuff to cook and I would sweep after cooking.😂 the funny part is I was just using a little space in the kitchen. I just didn’t like to see dirt around especially when it was in a kitchen. After, I would go to my room and complain to my roommates about how my back hurts.😂
I also had so many other experiences with my friends on campus. I would complain if you were eating a bit too loud cos I didn’t like the sound. I would scold you if you forgot to comb your hair and then I would comb it for you. If you didn’t iron your clothes, you’d hear from me too. Looking back, I think they would have taken it in a bad way but I actually didn’t mean to make my friends feel stupid , I was just looking out for them because I wanted them to be perfect no matter what because I was constantly pushing myself to be better.
A while back, say two weeks, I got into a huge fight with someone close to me and it was really bad. It all happened because I was complaining about literally everything they did. I didn’t see it as complaining, I was just trying to get them to do the right thing. I think this habit of mine had been going on for so long and that day was the breaking point for this person and we got into a huge fight.
We didn’t speak for over a week and what I was told was take time to think of your actions. I didn’t take it too seriously and I felt they were just being dramatic but during the week it hit me. Maybe I was asking for too much. Maybe I just needed them to be perfect so much that they just couldn’t be themselves. Slowly, it all dawned on me. I was pushing my perfectionist character on others. Trying to make them be like me or even better and that was wrong. So, I learnt to accept people for who they are because God knows I’m never going to be 100% okay with what everyone does. For someone who makes sure her tiles are sparkling clean when mopping, I sure do have high standards.
Now, I have come to learn more about myself and I know not to impose stuff on people. Just allow them be but don’t fail to correct them when they go wrong. If I know I wouldn’t like how they do something I ask of them, why not do it myself. That’s more of a better way to maintain the peace and quiet.
So, this is my story. I don’t think I’ve met anyone like myself, maybe I’m yet to. lol.
all images belong to me.