Almost every time we see sociological or science related articles or talks about pornography we never hear anything good about pornography. We're always hearing bad things that usually concludes porn shouldn't be made or consumed.
We hear about the addiction, the laziness and lack of focus it brings, the discouragement from social interaction it leads it's users to, the erectile problems, the reduction of interest and pleasure from the real thing once you're a frequent consumer of porn, etc.
The human trafficking, coercion and other means of making people do porn against their will are, of course, very valid unarguable complaints. But if porn can be done consensually by people who want to, who are of age, then can porn still be an evil/ill thing?
For a Lot of People having actual sex is not Really on the Table.
These articles and essays against porn are fond of telling people to go out there and have real sex instead. How clueless this is!
For a lot of people real sex is not really on the table. Some people have bodily defects they were born with, bodily disabilities, some with diseases, and physical features most would consider ugly. For people like these they can't just go out there and have sex. Their success rate would be almost zero.
They can try having it with people who have similar bodily issues as them, but what if that's hard to find? What if they want better even if they themselves are not better and they're not turned on by bodies that are not better?
For people like this porn is a great escape. They get to vicariously feel the pleasure of being with the kind of bodies they'll probably never be able to get with in real life.
Then there are those WITHOUT diseases and bodily defects, but they are not rich.
Being broke in today's world can really hamper your chances of getting laid, especially if you're a man.
With modernity women have entered into the workforce, they're earning their own money, and they have the freedom to choose. Wives are not as easily acquirable as they used to be. All of this, of course, is great and a win for civilization.
In the past most societies were polygamous. And you didn't have to be rich to have two or more wives. Simply having a farm and some livestock was all you needed to live comfortably with your wives and children. Apart from your farms and livestock you could still even hunt or fish.
Plus all a person needed was simple food, clothing and simple shelter. But now a lot of more consumer goods and services have been invented that it now seems we can't live without: better clothes, more expensive housing, phones, electronics, electric bills, water bills, phone bills, gas bills, Internet bills, cars, etc. The world has become more advanced and more costly to live comfortably in.
Plus all the things that gave men the edge like men being the greater majority of the workforce, and jobs mostly requiring physical strength (which men have more of in relation to women), etc are now out the window. Physical strength which was male's biggest advantage is no longer what makes money in the modern era.
So with these in mind you can easily see how much modern men can fall behind and you should know that you shouldn't talk about men getting women the way you would talk about it in the 18th or 19th century. Men have lost almost their edge in making money but are still expected to make money to be able to have a woman.
Plus, women are making their own money and mostly want men who make more money than they do. So...
Plus social media keeps showing women what lifestyles they can get if they have a rich man, and that lifestyle is so beautiful, and it seems within reach if they just wait and strategize to get the rich man. So...
So many men can't afford to attract and maintain women. And it is a bit easier for the men who want to find one woman and commit to her, but there's hardly a man who actually wants commitment. Most men want variety, they want to have many women, not one. That is the natural instinct in them.
Which makes life even more difficult for them, because they want what they want and what they want which is a variety of women, is costly.
The short of all this long talk is that too many of the average men are not rich enough to get and keep a woman/women. And many of them who have women are going through a lot of financial difficulty keeping it going. Plus the true desire of most of them is multiple women and they can't get this with their current income.
Even many of them who get lucky to have a woman even though they're broke still go through the trauma of seeing their woman long for a better life that they can't provide for her, so they feel better staying away from the relationship altogether.
So, porn is one thing that helps them live in this world. It helps them regulate their urges and get their minds off trying to have what they can't really have. Yes there are consequences and a trade off, but the alternative is not good either.
The alternative is having all those urges burning inside you and pushing you to act, but being unable to act because you lack the resources. You're being pushed to woo girls, have relationships, invite girls over, etc. But it costs money to do all these. Not like it costs a fortune, but you don't have the amounts it costs. You can't pay for dates, buying for two when she's around, etc. not when you have your own self to take care of.
Many guys try sometimes but the burnout and financial difficulties that come from the expenditure affects their lives so much and kills the fun.
Then Let's Not Forget the People Who Don't Want to Relate With People for Other Reasons
Reasons like their antisocial nature, germophobia, past trauma etc. Some people genuinely don't really want much to do with other human beings in real life. For people like that the importance of porn in regulating their urges cannot be overemphasized.
Conclusion
Many people's lack of desire/capacity for relating with others in real life are actually caused by porn. People like that need to seek help with their social abilities. In fact this is a check everyone who has a reason (including financial) for not relating with others need to carry out. You need to make sure you're not just that way because of porn.
You also need to make sure your reasons are valid. If your reasons are valid and you know the trade-offs then of course all you have to do is to do it responsibly. Too much of anything is usually bad. Once you know all these and do it responsibly, usually you're good to go.
Disclaimer:
As much as it is fun for me as a sociology enthusiast to give my opinions on this topic the fact remains that this topic can have serious mental and psychological reach, so before acting on my opinions discuss it with your doctor or psychiatrist. I wouldn't be liable for any damage resulting from the application of my opinions.
The End
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@nevies, I run a Humor, deeper thoughts, and sex talk blog here on Hive馃寶
@nevies, I run a Humor, deeper thoughts, and sex talk blog here on Hive馃寶