"Time will always pass, every wound will heal, but it does not mean that scars will not remain. In each trace of them on your skin are marked what once made you feel worthless, but it is enough to understand that there is no pain there, the pain lives inside like a resonant orchestra over and over again. sometime a time we tried to silence the pain with more pain, what happened to the moments when I laughed, when a clear sky turned into a storm? Now I only hear the sound of the drops falling hard in my mind, I feel like they'll break the pavement".
"Suffering is optional Tom, in this world pain is inevitable, nothing guarantees you that your thoughts will ever haunt you, to me sometimes demons also visit my mind, but we learn to deal with it, with failure with disappointment, we get used to receive the negative, over time I have learned to shut them up. That's what people call growing up".
"I don't want to grow up Alessia, the demons are the only thing that let me see you. It feels so real, my dreams are no longer the same, I wish it were so, if only I were the one sacrificing myself, the sky would be shining today. This just gets more and more exhausting".
"Drop the burden Tom". Alessia said with a smile plastered on her face and her hands outstretched towards me brushing my cheek.
"Don't call yourself a burden Alessia". The sound of my voice becomes harsh as I utter those words.
The breeze hits my face, here I am in front of my demons. It is that when I have my eyes open I see the light, but when I close them everything is darkness, is that what we are? Darkness inside, the drops of that rain impact on my face make me reflect on what is real and what is not.
I have lived so long trapped, but why should I go out? it is warm here, in this place I can close my eyes and even if everything becomes dark, she gives me the necessary warmth, she is a torch in an abyss, in my abyss.
This cold night, the rain brings out the smell of wet asphalt in these mountains with these curved roads, the sky is beautiful, from inside my convertible I can observe it. The moon has decided to hide for me today and deny me its brightness, but the stars have taken pity on me, so much was their mercy that they decided to light my way.
"But I'm so sorry Alessia, it should have been me, I'm to blame for everything that happened".
"Calling you guilty won't solve things Tom, I know you love me. So much is your love that without realizing it you are consuming yourself, I love you too Tom, but you must let go of the weight of guilt".
My body becomes energized, I hit the steering wheel of my car hard "You are asking me to stop loving you, and if this love is consuming me, it is my decision, the sun is also a star that will one day go out".
"I don't want you to fade Tom. I want you to shine, the world needs light, your light Tom". He stretched his hands over my head and shook my long worn hair.
I am here, in front of that mountain range, with its rocky mountains and this curved road, it looks like the sky is crying because it hasn't stopped raining yet, or is it my own subconscious crying, after all it's a dream.
"You speak of light, but it was in this place that my light faded. Here I passed away Alessia". For a moment, I can feel the serenity that the mild weather transmitted.
"Just watch Tom, the stars are shining for you. They keep millenary secrets, millions of dreams are inside them, who knows how many wishes they have fulfilled, haven't you asked yourself, how many people have tried to count them and haven't succeeded, but today they all point to you, do you know why Tom?".
"I don't know. Alessia". I replied in a hesitant voice.
"Because they know I love you".
"Alessia". My voice goes numb and my soul begins to cry. "I'm so sorry Alessia". My fingers of my left hand cover my face as out of stimulation I lunge towards his chest resting my face on it. "Forgive me Alessia forgive me". I gently touch my right hand to his shoulder. "I, I am empty". He squeezed his pink shirt tightly.
"I know. Tom". With his hands he lifted my face and stared into my eyes, his eyes were dripping as well". I want you to shine Tom, it's time for you to stop making footprints on your skin and start making them on a piece of paper."
"How do I leave footprints on a piece of paper Alessia? I replied."
"With words Tom, words leave footprints too."
"I understand. I will do it". I said after a sigh.
"It is time for me to go my beloved, I believe the stars tonight will witness our last meeting, it is time for you to drop the burden and silence the demons".
"Where will you go Alessia?".
She took my hand and lifted my face, leaned her head resting it on my shoulder, pointed to the sky and said "There I will go, with them, I will become a dream and dwell within them."
"What if I need you, what if I get lost again?".
"If you get lost again my dear Tom, raise your eyes to the sky and look north, I'll always be hopping among the northern stars."
"I love you Alessia and you don't know how much."
"Yes, I do. Tom" she said with tears in her eyes, "But fate willed it so, the universe did not take pity on us, but today we show it that not even death can separate us. I'm leaving, kiss me, kiss me hard Tom, may the cosmos itself be envious of the energy we transmit with our lips."
"Goodbye Alessia."
"Goodbye Tom it's time for you to wake up".
I woke up from that dream, lying in my bed, back to my reality. Knock! Knock! someone was knocking at the door. "Come in, you can come in." I said firmly.
The door to what is my room slowly opens and reveals the figure of a woman, 1.69 cm tall, with long wavy reddish hair, turquoise eyes and white skin. Those turquoise eyes began to glow.
"To...To...Toom,". Her lips betrayed her as she tried to pronounce my name, but in that turquoise sea I could see a look of expectation. But what it was about, I don't know. My head was still spinning, I felt dazed.
"Tom, are you awake?". The tessitura of his voice changed to a state of astonishment.
"Yes". I replied with a smile on my face.
"I'm Maria, do you remember me?".
"How could I not, you're my sister, tell me what happened?".
All around me were wires connected to my left arm.
"What's this for, Maria?".
"It's medication. Tom".
"But, I don't understand, drugs for what Maria?". I asked very confused.
"I don't think you remember".
I looked at the clock hanging on the brown wall of that room full of pictures and violins hanging, it read 5:47 p.m., the sun was already showing its typical color to denote that it was time to sleep too.
Mary sat next to me on that bed with lion king sheets, who knew I would wake up tucked in by Mufasa.
"Tom, I have to tell you this".
"I know. Maria, I know Alessia is not in this world".
"So do you remember brother?".
"No, I don't remember, how long have I been asleep?".
"Today you are one year old, since that day." Tears begin to well up like a leaky roof slowly fogging my bed, "I promised you Alessia, that day before I came in, I promised you".
"What did you promise?". I asked, in a gentle voice.
"It all happened in that accident Tom, you decided to go out with her, but you were so furious, we got in your car, you were supposed to drop me off at my house, but on the way you were just arguing". His pulse starts to increase, he hesitates to speak. "We made it to my home, I got out, you didn't even say goodbye to me that night, Alessia turned and smiled at me goodbye." Her throat constricts, "I thought I would lose you that night, but 30 minutes later I get a call from the hospital, they needed my help to which I attended and rushed over, I never imagined running into that scene Tom".
"It's okay Maria."
"No Tom, it's not okay.Upon arrival I enter the surgery room to proceed, can you imagine what it felt like to see you on that gurney?" Her voice gets louder.
"Sister, I understand your pain".
"No Tom. Forgive me for interrupting, but no, you don't understand my pain." Mary rises from the bed all agitated. "You had lost a lot of blood and your heart was not well because of the accident, not even a machine could save you, you needed a transplant urgently, and there she was, on the other stretcher. She called me and said that the day she married you, her heart was no longer hers. You can stop her Tom, but I decided to murder my best friend to save my brother." Maria won't stop crying "YOU KNOW HOW THAT FEELS!".
"Did she tell you anything else?".
"Yes, that you would shine, if you ever got lost she was going to be with you inside you, her heart was going to help you find yourself, she would be that warmth in the abyss". At the end she added that she felt sad because she could not look at the sky that night, but that the stars were kind to her because they would allow her to live in you".
"Thank you Mary, during this year that I slept it must have been hard for you".
"Tom, I came into this room intending to disconnect you, I had already lost faith. But I remembered those words of Alessia, that she would be that warmth in the abyss, so during this year I thought you were in that abyss of your dreams and she was trying to wake you up".
"I make it sister, our mother where is she?".
"In the other room, she hasn't spoken for a year Tom, I've had to take care of her too, but every night she comes in here and changes your sheets".
"I want to see her". I said firmly.
"She's next door, I don't want to go in, I need air Tom".
I walked straight to the next room, I stood in the doorway, I felt the air breathing heavy, my arms were shaking. I opened that door slowly, the sound of the hinges makes itself present, there sat a woman caressing the keys of a piano and looking out of a window. I stopped and contemplated her for 10 minutes, I wanted to talk to her, but my throat prevented me from doing so. Alessia's heart was beating strong, very strong. She was my beautiful mother with whitish hair and deteriorated hands, wrinkles rested on them, as she ran her fingers over the keys I remembered those caresses she used to give me when I was a child.
I released that knot and said "Mother".
That C7 chord marked on the piano stopped being heard.
"Mother, it's me, I woke up".
That woman got up from her chair, but not with the strength of her body but with the strength of her soul.
I ran to embrace her, "Mother". My tears touch her worn hair.
"My son, I knew you would wake up."
"I know mom, I was lost, but Alessia helped me find my sparkle again."
"I know son, I know. Last night from my window you couldn't see the stars, I went to your room and from your window I could see them, they had gathered for you that night son" .
"Yes mom". I said with deep sadness.
"I composed something for you son, for you, a piano song in a major key, I titled it: Beyond a dream".
"Let's play it mother". I said with enthusiasm and sadness.
"In that lining is the violin that belonged to your wife Tom, take it out and tune it with me".
I proceeded to take the violin out of that lining, the instrument of my precious Alessia. I began to play with my mother, that piece composed with love and hope, it sounded majestic, my mother sliding her fingers across that piano as quickly and delicately as in the days of her youth, as if the music itself had brought her back to life. Between crotchets and whites, eighth notes and sixteenth notes, drawn on that staff in the key of G and F, was the love of a mother for her son. That piece is about to come to an end and so is its interpreter. At the end with her last breath she formed that C major chord with the augmented seventh, a sigh came out of her mouth in her last breath. I put down my violin and hugged my mother. I told her "Don't worry, I know you were waiting for me, rest". On her face was drawn that smile that I always enjoyed as a child.
Weeks passed, my mother was cremated and I buried her in her garden with that palm tree that she watered so much, now I look at the sky and I know that I don't need to look at the stars because two of them already live in me. My mother with her song and my beloved Wife with her heart, in a way they both brought me back to life each in their own way.
"Tom it's time to eat". Maria said.
"Understood, but, sister, I want to tell you something".
"Tell me Tom".
"I know you are in an abyss too, but I will be near you, I will shine next to you, so I will manage to scare away your demons".
Maria comes closer and hugs me.
"Don't worry sister, bring me a pencil and a piece of paper".
"And, that, what for?". She said in a surprised manner.
"It's just that I will leave footprints on a piece of paper".
"How can anyone leave footprints on a piece of paper?". Maria replied.
"The words Maria. They leave footprints too, this world is full of people who need someone to wake them up too".
"I don't understand brother, but, I am here for you".
"I know. Mary, you need to wake up too, I will drive the demons away for you, not just yours. Each person has a battle within themselves that alone they cannot deal with." I placed my hand on my chest "That's what Alessia wished for, a world without tormented people, only music can do that".
She can notice the sadness that emanated from my sister's aura, I know that deep inside her there are also voices that visit her at night.
"I know you miss Alessia, you were best friends".
"I miss her so much, I wish I could go back to creating melodies with her with our instruments, like when we were teenagers. We never should have left that music room where our mother was the teacher".
"Do you want to play with Alessia again?".
"Yes Tom and with my mother too, time muted her in your sleep, I knew that inside she too was slowly dying".
"Then bring here your violin Sister, you will play with Alessia and our mother. Today you too will wake up".
"Tom, Alessia is gone and so is our mother".
"put your ear to my chest and listen, can you hear it?".
"Yes". Maria said with her eyes closed.
"That's Alessia, speaking in a 4/4 time signature, a musician never dies, he always leaves his mark in this world on paper" I raised with my hands the score of the song that our mother had composed "Here she lives, our mother, her essence is captured here, in every note, in every silence".
That morning my sister finally managed to play after so long, with Alessia and our mother.
"Maria Do you know why the sky is blue during the day and black at night?".
"Because of the sunlight Tom". a laugh comes from my sister's lips.
"So it is with the ocean, sister, the water takes on the color of the sky". I take a deep breath, lower my violin and touch her shoulder. "Your heart is like the water of the ocean and your mind the sky, you will take the color according to the intensity of the light in your mind, your sky was dark, but today you woke up. The light came to you and that dark sky has transformed into a beautiful clear blue."
"I love you brother."
"Me too."
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Important notice.
the photo at the beginning of the post has been edited with canva
here the canva link:https://www.canva.com/
here links to images not owned by me.
https://pixabay.com/photos/dream-catcher-dreamcatcher-feather-4065288/
https://pixabay.com/photos/finish-end-completed-completion-1414156/
The rest of the images in this post belong to me and were taken by an iphone 6 phone.
Thanks for making it to the end of this story, I hope you liked it, if so let me know in the comments.