Interesting story, the narrative was exciting from beginning to end, and the ending was shocking. There were expressions during the development that gave hints of the end of the story, and it was striking and interesting.
However, I noticed in your publication important details that you can still edit or take into account for the next one, for example you followed the suggestions of the friends of The Ink Well, regarding languages, when writing in two languages it is advisable to use the same resources in both readings, whether separators, spelling resources and images, in your case, the image you used is observed at the end of the whole publication, if your desire was to place it at the end of the reading, it would have been great to do it at the end of both languages, although it seems repeated, visually enriches the story, and keep in mind that who reads English will stop to observe the other language, in particular I, instead of the separator would have placed the image, by the turn that gives the story after this paragraph by :

-After a second that seemed eternal, he finally looked at me, with dark colored eyes that invited me to sail forever in them. He got up from his chair, took me by the hand and in a sweet voice said to me:
-I was waiting for you.

And something important in the images is to cite the source of that image, even if it is your own image, identify it as yours.
Another detail is the use of tags, even in the rules of this community suggest several, which may be useful.
Surely the friends of The Ink Well will be able to give you more suggestions, success in your next stories.