I watched you, you know? But I tried to retreat. There's no regrets here either, or even no settlement of everything that's happening right now. I'm just trying to notice, without being noticed. It sounds impossible is not it? Considering human beings in fact need attention. To me it's not a big deal. What happened and I see now only ...
I pulled back my body, with my head bowed. It's hard, I do not know why, but I think I should. I covered my face with my hands while looking at someone in the distance. I closed my eyes for a moment, then I opened it again, closed it and opened it again, and I did and the result was the same, still the same person seen on the other end. I pulled my body slightly upward to make sure that the sun did not do this strange mirage. I pulled my neck a little longer, and still the same, still with the same person. I just keep thinking that this is clairvoyance that I've been thinking limits my space, with all the fear. I tried not to think about it.
Again, just a few meters in front of me is something that makes my mind branch like an old labyrinth. I just decided instantly, with the little feeling I sent to my eyes, threw my attention at the figure in front of me. It seemed impossible for him to look at me, I guess, but yesterday, just yesterday he smiled at me, looks like me, but I do not know. After all, there, not just me, there are others. But I summed it up with a smile on my lips that the smile was for me. All night, I thought about it, incessantly, late into the night. But everyone knows, I know, that's impossible. And now, my life, the ego comes from a pure consciousness that is thought of as sincerity.
I tried again, searched the same figure on the other end. Maybe it's gone? Maybe already gone? With my wide-eyed eyes and curiosity, I try to see again, this time carefully and carefully, I do not want this to be the thing that makes me fall into the emotion of my consciousness again. I look, look up, tiptoe, move position, spin, all I do, and still, still the same, still him. What's wrong, what's happening, it's more confusing to me, the longer I stand, the more focused the eyes are, almost without blinking. The more I became nervous, becoming like a blind man who pretended to look seriously. Instantly the memory reappeared. I was sitting up, with my hands on my head. My head is moving right left, left right. Standing briefly, then sitting down, and maybe I look like anxious. For a long time I was curious about the strange position, suddenly passing someone in the distance. 'That's it' I exclaimed happy. Smile felt back to my lips, which had been hidden and lost. I kept watching, and a little I followed how he walked, and that, it really made me unhappy, really beautiful.
Suddenly there were noisy noises around me, the pace of footsteps, the foot friction, the sounds of people talking, laughing, complaining, and ...
'Hey, quick, do you want to be here until noon?' I heard a strange voice in my ear. Immediately my thoughts disappeared, along with the figure in the distance there. I just walked bowed, turning around looking around me, making sure what the figure was really missing? Shit, he's not there. A little smile I make on my lips, just shows I was curious.
'Heh, it's almost a year, how's it going?' someone shouted. 'What continuation?' I say, frowning.
'Forget it,' he said, leaving me. Still stunned by my suddenly disturbed daydreams, my remarks were disturbed again. 'One knowing' I yelled as he ran after the man in front of me. 'One year Vin, almost this year, how is this?' I continued in a furious tone and a little annoyed. 'Never mind, forget it, if you still have not dared' he said curtly. 'Ahh, you are this, that's not the way out I want to hear', 'Then what else do you want to hear from me' he replied as he tried to get away from me. I just watched it, a little hesitant in my mind, it was not like the old one, what changed. 'You should have asked that, who changed' he replied. I paused. I chose to look moody in front of him, maybe I can get his attention again.
I tried again, searched the same figure on the other end. Maybe it's gone? Maybe already gone? With my wide-eyed eyes and curiosity, I do not want this to be the thing that makes me fall into the emotion of my consciousness again. I look, look up, tiptoe, move position, spin, all I do, and still, still the same, still him. What's wrong, what's happening, it's more confusing to me, the longer I stand, the more focused the eyes are, almost without blinking. The more I became nervous, becoming like a blind man who pretended to look seriously. Instantly the memory reappeared. I was sitting up, with my hands on my head. My head is moving right left, left right. Standing briefly, then sitting down, and maybe I look like anxious. For a long time I was curious about the strange position, suddenly passing someone in the distance. 'That's it' I exclaimed happy. Smile felt back to my lips, which had been hidden and lost. I kept watching, and a little I followed how he walked, and that, it really made me unhappy, really beautiful.
Suddenly there are noisy noises around me, the pace of footsteps, the foot friction, the sounds of people talking, laughing, complaining, and ...
'Hey, quick, do you want to be here until noon?' I heard a strange voice in my ear. Immediately my thoughts disappeared, along with the figures in the distance there. I just walked bowed, turning around looking around me, making sure what the figure was really missing? Shit, he's not there. A little smile I make on my lips, just shows I was curious.
'Heh, it's almost a year, how's it going?' someone shouted. 'What continuation?' I say, frowning.
'Forget it,' he said, leaving me. Still stunned by my suddenly disturbed daydreams, my remarks were disturbed again. 'One knowing' I yelled as he ran after the man in front of me. 'One year Vin, almost this year, how is this?' I continued in a furious tone and a little annoyed. 'Never mind, forget it, if you still have not dared' he said curtly. 'Ahh, you are this, that's not the way out I want to hear', 'Then what do you want to hear from me' he replied as he tried to get away from me. I just watched it, a little hesitant in my mind, it was not like the old one, what changed. 'You should have asked that, who changed' he replied. I paused. I chose to look moody in front of him, maybe I can get his attention again.
I put the chocolate in my bag, still at 6.10, but I was ready to leave, this I did on Alvin's strange suggestion that put me in the chest of drawers with chocolate. But I think the letter is too ridiculous, just imagine it I laughed out laughing. God, is it true of my actions? I'm just confused myself.
I just want to solve this endless problem. All will end with chocolate on the last day I go to school and move on to the next level. It was time for school, and I made it all according to what Alvin instructed.
First I entered the school gate, then I gusapa the caretaker 'Morning Mas', 'Do not forget your deadly smile yes Samantha' remembered Alvin smile with his instructions last night. Then I infiltrated a class, I saw it and I made sure it was the right class. 'The second row after the entrance, the backseat, left of the blackboard' while remembering the location of Zufar's seat, yes, he was the one I admired for almost a year. Since the admission of a new student, she was in class X and I was in grade XII, Alvin knew her.
I continued this secret mission carefully, then I put all the chocolates and of course without that ludicrous letter. 'All done' I yelled happily, I ran out into the classroom, imagining what it would look like to see so many chocolates.
There's no sign of leaving anything, no initials, or 'Hope your day will be nice' or whatever, nothing at all.
The time came for the bell to start ringing, I slowly set foot toward his class. And yes, the noise is clearly visible there, even from outside I can hear 'Cieee, chocolate from who it is, some have a crush on it,' and lots of other cheers, even very loud questions, and I can only smile a little.
I turned my body, I saw the sky, everything seemed to darken, a strong wind hit my body, for a moment I thought this morning will come rain. just moments after I thought, it was raining. 'Geez, am I wrong?' I whispered softly, I ran for a shady spot, and there was only a parking lot behind the mosque, which looked a bit convincing to occupy. Again I thought, what was my decision wrong?
Who is wrong? Love or me? I just smiled a little there, I sank my breath with a long and I told myself 'My time is up huh? And I'm the one who's been wrong 'I smiled. Unfinished I continued on my daydream of how I became a secret admirer for a year now, Alvin suddenly coming from behind me, 'Why did you give it to me?', I looked back at him abruptly. I'm not too surprised to see him, after all this, Alvin ..., he, he can read what I think, only him, that's why only he who wants to be my best friend, the only one. 'I'm just Alvin's fault, that's it, my love has turned into selfishness, I can not see anything, everything', I say everything calmly and not feel I'm dripping my tears. 'No! Seerusnya you with him, not with me Samantha! '.
'Alvin, I just want to find the answer, so hard for me to find someone I love, when it's been around me for a year! How stupid I am!'
'What? What's wrong with you?' he said in a really curious tone. Then he went on to say, 'I, I've been mem ...'
'It loves me is not it? I know it's Alvin '
'But what is it that you give me all your love and your feelings?'
'Because all this time I'm wrong, I'm wrong. Not he who has been loving me, not he who loves me. Even I doubt if he knows me? Does he know who I am? '
'I just want, before I leave, I can see you smiling again. Smiling like before I told him about him, about Zufar, the man I craved ... 'I gave my breath a long' I just want to see your smile, it makes me comfortable 'I smiled happily, and ..., yes my heart was relieved to have said it, but still I do not dare look at his face, I'm embarrassed. 'Sorry Alvin' I continued.
'You're sincere, I know that. Thanks Samantha 'I turned my head, I saw his face, he smiled, just as before, my heart is very peaceful to see it. 'Thank you Alvin' I said to myself.
Since then, I've always seen him happy, smiling, and I'm happy to see him. I really see how much he loves me. And ... what I do is the same, every time we walk together, I take a few steps back from him, and, I see him, I smile. 'Thank you for your love Alvin' I whispered. Alvin looked at me with a smile.