Down the overgrown paths. Old stone with colourful patterns, pathways so used they've broken down into dust. I've missed this. To roam with nothing in mind but to hopefully stumble across history. To find something old to appreciate. I cautiously roam. A curiosity that begs me to get up and explore something, to find a story long forgotten. It is like an everlasting itch. I scratch at it for it to only grow in its intensity. Each new path, road, or old building exacerbating the feeling. I cautiously roam because of a fear I now have. A fear that I'm being watched at every corner. That the police might yet again spring up in front of me and have the wrong idea. The assumption of spying. The fear of a foreigner with a suspicious interest in old industry, bunkers, or simply forgotten areas. But I press on.
I still lurk, peak, and step into the little areas of interest. I still quickly point the camera at something I just have to capture. Sometimes I use the phone instead. Beyond the windows with large statues that remain hidden, and even back in their prime, only those with factory passes would've known they existed. I guess to some degree things haven't changed all that much. The most beautiful things can only be appreciated by a few. The lucky ones to either notice them in the first place or have the luxury of direct access without the fears I now carry. A bag full of batteries and a gimbal on my back. The camera strapped around my torso. Feet tired from uneven flooring and a lack of proper footwear. Dusty roads from the desert-like environment of southern Armenia.
I recall a film I watched a few years ago: a man dies in a car crash and tragically leaves behind his loved one. Returning as a ghost, he goes back home and watches silently as the time passes without him. As the house changes ownership, becomes empty, and the world changes significantly over many generations. A Ghost Story. I understand the ghost, I feel like on as I am this person from a distant nation that finds himself exploring what others consider the norm in their everyday lives. Finding and witnessing the things they otherwise have missed. Watching the life unfold before me with no ability to go back in time, or stop the present to really grasp all of these locations and moments. It's particularly felt in these quiet abandoned areas. Where whatever remains has rusted over, shattered glass beneath the feet. Old signs that speak of something no longer present.
I want to start documenting these better. I want to start sharing these explorations properly. To record them and find ways to share the beauty of it all. Perhaps it's time to invest in a little camera? Especially coming into summer. All of these experiences really have me motivated to create, to continue the explorations. But also to find a way to really record the last of what remains of these previous eras.