As sure as the tide will go out again, it is also certain that Mondays will always come round again. That dreaded feeling can sometimes start as early as Sunday night in apprehension of the dreaded Monday.
You can picture it yourself, you go from that euphoric feeling on a Friday where you are so happy that the working week is over and you can relax and focus on your own hobbies or interests, to the thoughts of a full working week ahead of you.
As you start your working day on a Monday, the first hour is spent de-thawing your brain from the weekend fog. This usually requires copious amounts of coffee. Your morning solitude is broken by some maniac who hasn't realized what day it is and is bothering you. You remind them that it's Monday.
The worst thing about Mondays are that you have the whole working week ahead of you. You need to do your work, pretend to care and be motivated whilst endless newsletters, videos and a myriad of other corporate propaganda from your higher ups is drip fed into your brain.
A few of your colleagues who have already gone stir crazy after over 30 years in the same job rebel which brings light relief but the heavy corporate machinery soon comes down hard on anyone who steps out of line and crushes their free spirit to set an example to anyone who dares speak up.
How to survive a Monday?
Some tips I have learned over the years to help you survive this dreaded day are:
Take a sicky
Mondays are greatly improved if you aren't working. Therefore phoning in sick can help you avoid that predicament. Put on your best sick voice, cough a lot to help convince your boss you aren't faking it.
Work from Home
The next best thing if you can't be sick is to work from home. At least you don't need to face anyone on this day and can dial into meetings and watch Netflix at the same time. You also save on your commuting times too.
Buy Donuts
If you really need to go in, buy some donuts to cheer you up. Buy enough for your colleagues too and try and lift everyone's spirits.
Lock yourself in the toilets
If keeping your eyes open or facing your work becomes too much, run and hide in the toilets for an hour or too. Bring a small pillow with you for maximum comfort.
Go part-time
Remove Monday as a working day permanently by reducing your hours. Work just 4 days or less per week and insist that you have Mondays off. All the important meetings and decisions are made on a Monday, so you can disappear into insignificance within your company fairly quickly. If you are moved to the basement, that's a good sign.
What tips do you have for surviving Mondays?
Thanks for reading
Credits:
All photos are my own.
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