This is the story of the Underpants Gnomes.
Their legend started on South Park, but that show is very crude and we don't watch it anymore. Language may be foul in the program, but the some of their lessons are brilliant.
Back to our story…
Little Timmy had a problem. His underpants kept disappearing from his dresser drawers. Every day there seemed to be less than the day before. Where were they going?
Timmy asked his other friends. Yes, they were missing underpants, as well.
Timmy had had enough
After a few days of this, Timmy had had enough. He had to know the truth.
That night, Timmy only pretended to sleep while he waited for something odd to happen. A small man, a gnome, crawled up his dresser drawers and took a pair of his underpants!
Where was he going? Timmy followed the gnome, careful not to be seen.
The gnome lead him to a giant cave underground. Timmy was shocked to see hundreds of little gnomes running around. They were bringing pairs of underpants to a huge pile. Timmy scratched his head. What was going on here? With anger, Timmy grabbed the shoulder of the little gnome and spun him around.
"Why are you collecting underpants?"
The gnome was gleeful as he shouted his response.
"Profit!"
Timmy thought his little brain was going to explode.
"How do underpants equal profit?"
The gnome produced a dry erase marker and a white board on an easel. Then he explained.
"Step One: Underpants."
Timmy nodded. The gnome continued.
"Step Three: Profit!"
Timmy scratched his head and then asked the obvious question.
"What is step two?"
The gnome shook his head.
"We haven't worked that part out, yet, but we're getting really good at step one!"
What is step two? You should probably start to figure that out.
It's like a person who wants to learn how to run. He or she goes to the bookstore and gets a book on running form. That's all well and good, but if step three is running a marathon, this step one will not get him or her to the finish line. It doesn't matter how many books he or she reads. The pile of underpants can reach the sky, but you will never reach step three that way.
Now you probably need at least one pair of underpants to do your business in. Wearing a pair of underpants is generally a good thing. Just don't pile it on. One pair is all you need to get started.
Start to figure out step two! Step three (Profit!) awaits.
What do your underpants look like?
