I was afraid. I didn’t know what kind of life I could give. I grew up where eating 3 times with a good meal was always a question. I finished with a Degree course but it’s not easy to fill that profession. Money as always needed even if studying was already achieved. I was in between my teens and adulthood. Also, I was in a relationship with my wife for 10 years already. Of course, she would wish to get us married. It’s not that I was not ready, I was just afraid that I'd make her life harder like I used to when I was young.
I didn’t want her to wait any longer. We were getting older obviously, and we should settle down. Yeah, it happened, the wedding happened after 5 months of living on the same roof. It was too early to call it a home yet since we didn’t have a blessing from the sacred ceremony. Even if there’s no one to rely on for the expenses that would be needed during the wedding. We were truly proud and grateful that we made it happen by the help of our little store that I built when we started living together.
I thought after the wedding it would be okay. We live a better life than I’d always been afraid of. However, it’s not the life status that was tormenting but it was the thought of not being in place when I wanted. Yes, the single life was still holding me at that time. My thoughts were still at home, imagining being with my family and having fun with friends. I felt like I was imprisoned - this was not the kind of life I dreamt of when I was wishing to get married. Perhaps, I was in shock, the new kind of life was not ideal for me. I faked my emotions, I lied to my wife about those thoughts. You couldn’t blame me, I had a wonderful environment that I wanted to keep holding into it.
Yes, time didn’t heal the pain that was aching inside; It taught me how to live a life of being married. Slowly, I understood and accepted that this was the kind of life I have right now. I started to worry about what kind of food to be served on the table, not about how I can go home and have fun. It took quite a time, but in the house where my wife is now I called home. My everyday life revolves only here, although, quite exhausting sometimes from the chores and work. This is the reward of the better life I’m enjoying right now.
I’m MARRIED and I’m not embarrassed about it. I can still find enjoyment or entertainment with my wife or even myself alone as long as with a consent from her. I fully understood that this life should be from a married person.
Thank you for reading
"OLD PHOTOS"
All content is my own unless otherwise noted
If images are being recycled, I just found it fit in my article.
Paul was born in Macrohon, Southern Leyte but currently living in Cahayag, San Francisco Southern Leyte. He graduated the course of a BS Mar-E or Bachelor of Science in Marine Engineering in 2019. Although writing is his passion so instead of sailing he decided on writing.
He writes occasionally about random stuff he would see in the outside world. He loves to express what he feels through writing because he's not good at speaking personally.
He also writes fictional stories and emotions because he thinks life matters. He is hoping that his words could reach someone who might be feeling down.
Join me and support me through my adventures not just to the world but also to the human minds not to hate being alive.
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