After the super typhoon and saw the devastation it gave. I asked myself, "How can we start, how to start, where to start." I was so confused what to do after seeing the houses were destroyed by that super typhoon. I am guy but even with so many people around I let my tears fell just like those people surrounded me did. It felt like it was too much to be real like it could only be seen through movies.

It was 3 afternoon on last Thursday the gust of wind started making a loud noise. As if, it was a person who was whistling but a louder one. First in my adult years I was scared of the wind. My physical appearance prentented to be calm while observing the surroundings. It was my arrogant self who acted that way but the truth was, my mind cried, begging the wind should stop. As always it didn't listen no matter how much desperate I was praying to God that it would slow down the wind.

For an hour the wind never stopped but the trees began to fall and galvanized iron rooftops flew the wind, as if they were lighter as leaves of trees. I went inside and outside to protect myself from the danger it could possibly be. I was thinking how was my treehouse, our house and my sister's house. I may could not do anything but still I kept watching while wishing our houses would not be destroyed. I guess wish never came true after all and just happened an opposite results.

Even after seeing the results of the typhoon I hid my emotions as I slowly walking to the evacuation center where most of my family residing to protect themselves from the the typhoon and preventing myself not to cry. I was thinking to tell my mother and my siblings who were there first so that both of us could cry together. Explaining and imaging the houses after the typhoon made me cry silently upon seeing my sisters started crying as hard as she could. Of course, a big tamarind tree fell into her house and even it was concreted it was destroyed. All her appliances bought from her hard work were wiped out for an instant. I stopped crying and just told her we're lucky to still live despite the unbelievable monster typhoon.

I was still on shocked and could not collect all the emotions shed. I couldn't believe that I didn't know how to react and confused what should I do. I felt so cold after the strong wind fell on me and couldn't change my clothes because everything left were wet. I sat while slept from a friend's house made from concreted materials. It was 4 in the morning when I woke up and went to our house hoping to see clothes to wear. I couldn't find one and just borrow from a friend. The surroundings were still a bit darker and I just decided to go to church to pray. Like a child I released it all by telling God in silence while I was outside listening the priest Gospel.

I listened what the priest said added with sentiments and my emotions flowed like a strong river. I sobbed in silent as my tears continued falling and asked God "why is this happening?" I kept asking and asking and felt like I wanted God to comfort and told me everything. I know it sounded childish but I didn't care since like a child lost a favorite toy. I couldn't stop myself from not believing how crazy it was that happened.

After the mass I went to our house and again more tears that shredded. Picking up the charger of my phone, clothes to dry, galvanized iron could still be used and many more while crying. That was too much for me to handle emotionally and physically. I'm not a bank or I don't own one, well, of course, I'm not rich that anytime I wanted to fix our house would be easy. I just cried because I knew it would be hard to do. I knew for a fact the building a house would cost of too much money to use. Where to find that now especially that the economy stopped, the source of income stopped, no electricity and no internet connection. I didn't know where to start or how to start after what just happened.

I'm not asking but begging even though it feels embarrassing. I decided to eat my pride and let myself be in the bottom to let the people know that we need help desperately. As of now we are homeless, every night while sleeping I was hoping that it would not rain. Also, the coldness of Christmas season for sure can pierce our hearts everyday. Yes, we can still eat for now but I'm thinking what will happen later. The amount of food that are saved will not be enough when everything will not be normal yet.

Everyday, I'm crying because of how to find a home after what happened. This time I will not be ashamed. Please, please I'm begging for a help for everyone of us who are affected from that moster typhoon. I just arrived in the next town to find internet connection to let the people learn our stories after the typhoon. When everything will be back to normal, I'm hoping for someone who can help us. It's not easy to build when everything was lost. Sorry for begging but please understand why I'm doing this. Not just for me but for a lot of people that are still in agony after the incident.