I decided to go home after years of working in the City. I give up. My dreams I dreamed of for a long time haven't been achieved. I thought life was unfair to me. Added more of my failure when I was fired from my job. It was too much for me to handle as I feel like my life is devastating.
I was an orphan for the rest of my life. I arrived at our hometown clueless. I don't know what to do as I have no idea what or where to start. I rented an old house. The price is cheap so I chose it even though it's like a haunted house I saw in the movies.
One week has passed and all I did was stay outside the fence of the house. I noticed even in their simple life they are having fun. I envy them but something inside me refused to be like them. Instead of being envied, I divert my thoughts in searching for a job to sustain my daily living.
One morning I'm stuck in a store because it's raining. I saw children so happy playing in the rain. The water that fell almost reaches me when they're kicking as part of their play. I avoided it by sidestepping but I bumped someone and went outside the store.
"Sorry," I said to that woman but I nodded because she's wet already. She's like me sheltering from the rain and because I accidentally bumped her.
"It's fine," she said to me while smiling.
"Screw this," and she threw the papers that she brought.
When I looked at it by staring at it. It's a resume and other important papers. I immediately picked it up. Perhaps she's just disappointed and will regret it later.
"Just leave it there. I'm tired of having an ideal life." She said
I didn't listen to her and continued picking. She pulled me so hard. She couldn't pull me easily with the bigger body I have. She managed to pull me when she gave all her strength. We both fell down with the rainwater on the ground.
"Sorry", she said.
I stood up and just threw out the resume I brought to apply for a job. I feel a little bit annoyed. She still continues pulling me to join her.
" Okay, let me go. I'll follow you."
She smiled at me and then jumped like playing in the rain.
"Wooooh," she even shouted like a child.
She keeps on smiling as the rain continues falling. She's kicking the water towards me. I'm wearing white clothes so I avoided them.
"Are you happy?" She asked
Her question slapped me so hard. I don't know how to answer it. I keep on thinking about what I have done to make myself happy for all those years. I answered her with just silence.
"What's stopping you? Ideals, dreams, ambitions, and many more?"
She continued asking me and when she mentioned ambitions and dreams. I was attempting to open my mouth to answer "Yes" but she interrupted me with a loud laugh.
I don't know what's going on with her but I think she made a realization in life. It's not me to say it but it seems she doesn't understand life the way I do.
"You think I misunderstood life, right? That's what you're thinking right now?" She smirked
"Oh, don't be afraid of me. I'm not a witch or something." She laughs
"That's what most people said about me. They thought I'm wrong but they didn't know why I think we must enjoy life every day." She continued
The surroundings become colder as she talks seriously.
"Don't look so serious. Let's go to the sea." She segways my thoughts
We went to the sea and swam. She's playing like a child and as if it's her last day.
"By the way my name is Jinx. Let's be friends for now." She smiled
I don't know what she meant now. Why just now and not forever?
"Sure, my name is Canor. I don't want just now but forever."
I replied and I saw her covering her mouth with her hands. She's preventing herself from laughing hard. She couldn't control it and she hit me on the shoulder and asked.
"Do you have friends? You're creeping me out." She said and continued laughing.
I hate to admit it but I'm not good at making friends. I don't know how to approach them. I just feel embarrassed and dive into the sea. I want to hide for a bit under the water. It's no use because she followed me and faced me laughing.
"This woman is crazy", I said but I smiled.
Tomorrow morning he picked me up. When I went outside to buy coffee she's in her car waiting for me. I told her I haven't eaten my breakfast but she forced me to ride the car. We arrived at the peak of the hills where the ocean is visible.
"Do you see that mountain over there?" She asked and I just nodded.
She just smirked and said.
"Will you go over there?"
I'm surprised and I replied.
"Why will I go there? That's far."
"Please?" She showed me a pity face. I have no choice but to do what she said.
I saw her waving her hand when she saw me standing at the peak. I couldn't hear what she said because it's far. I only learned she wanted me to go back after she called me by the gesture of her hand.
"What was that for?" I asked her when I returned beside her.
She was just smiling and shaking her head. I just thought this girl was just fooling me.
The next day arrived and the next day. I'm not surprised anymore that she's waiting outside the house to pick me up. We were eating in different places not far from the places we went. I enjoy being with her and it's like the first time I could tell I'm happy. She's a silly woman so it's not impossible to be happy with her.
We went into random places where she desired. I'm not familiar with this place so I just came along. Even though I'm not an adventurous person. I have no choice but to go wherever it is. She's always giving me a pity face which I think is my weakness.
It has been one week already since I met Jinx. I wonder why but as soon as I close my eyes I'm excited to wake up in the morning to see her. Sometimes I felt crazy talking to myself.
"See you tomorrow, Jinx."
That's what I always expected because Jinx made me used to it. Another morning came and I saw her car waiting outside the house. I went outside immediately smiling because I was so excited.
"You sure took your time too long huh?"
I said it to mock her while smiling.
"Are you Canor?" A guy asked me while riding Jinx's car.
I slowly closed my mouth because it's not Jinx.
"Yes, sir," I replied.
"Will you please ride in the car?"
I don't know what's going on as my heart starts beating fast. I'm thinking that maybe her parents are mad at me for tagging along with her every day. Although, I smiled secretly because I never thought her parents knew me. I just ride in the car quietly.
When that guy took off the car. I saw a big house and a lot of people were outside. I'm thinking it's her birthday and I will be dancing. I became nervous after thinking that way.
"Just follow me." The guy said and I just followed him.
When I entered the house it was covered with silence. That time my heart felt pain but not excitement. I have an idea what's going on. I saw a coffin a few steps from where I'm standing. My mind went blank because I refused to believe that this was happening. I saw her picture in that coffin as I slowly walked towards it. My eyes are still steady, too focused on not believing the truth.
I fell to the ground because I didn't realize my tears were covering my eyes. I ignored what the people would feel about what I did and continued walking towards that coffin. When I was near and finally was able to see her pretty pale face. I burst into tears not expecting this to happen. She's a smiling woman and I never thought she was ill. It flashes back into my memories of when we first met and she talked about happiness. I finally understood what she said but still, I think this is too much.
"Jinx---" I couldn't control myself anymore. I started crying in the middle of strangers.
"Thank you for spending time with my daughter."
Jinx's mother came at me crying.
"I allowed her to do what she pleased because that Doctor told us about how long she lived. She had cancer and there was no cure for it according to a Doctor."
"But when we were together she looked so healthy," I asked, full of confusion.
"Yes but when she got home she felt pain. She hid it to make sure you would not pity her and just enjoyed going with her."
"She's so unfair", I sat down while crying.
Her mother handed me a letter from Jinx. I asked permission to leave while reading the letter. I wanted a place where no one surrounds me. I chose the shore because that was the first place full of memories with her.
"Hi, Canor, lol I know you're crying. Sorry for not telling you about my sickness. I didn't want you to think more about it because all I wanted was to enjoy life. Thank you for everything and for spoiling me of course. It was fun hanging out with you because you always showed an awful face when I fooled you. Remember that time when I told you to go to that next mountain? I asked you to be there because I wanted to say something but I didn't want you to hear it. Since I'm no longer with you I will tell you what I said that day. I shouted but I knew you didn't hear me so I was confident to say it all. lol"
" THANK YOU VERY MUCH CANOR. I WANT TO LIVE AS MUCH AS I WANT TO BE WITH YOU. LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL AND YET I WILL NEVER EXPERIENCE IT FOR LONG. EVEN JUST FOR A WEEK CANOR I'M WISHING THAT IN MY NEXT LIFE I WANT TO MEET YOU AND WILL LOVE YOU. I BECAME HAPPY BECAUSE OF YOU."
"You're crying again, Canor and I'm sure about it. Anyway, I wish you a happy life. Don't stress yourself too much and open your eyes to the things that can make you happy. Life is too short if you let yourself worry about it all the time."
P.S. Jinx
How can I accept it after what she said in that letter? How can I overcome life if it crushes my happiness all the time? I shouted as I cried hard saying thank you to Jinx. I hope she can hear my thanks towards her even though she's in heaven right now. She taught me how to be happy and yet left me. My heart will always be indebted to her.
.
.
.
.
.
"How are you, Jinx?" Thank you for teaching me how to treasure life."
I visited Jinx's grave after 1 year of moving on.
"I'm working now at the shop not far from here. Even though the salary is not that good. I'm still thankful for it because I can enjoy life and not only that I don't feel so much stress. You are right. Enjoy life and not worry about it because we can't always have it."
END…
mrnightmare
The images not credited are mine.
