Weighing the Year
"Life - Death", digital art by DilekGenc, at
http://dilekgenc.deviantart.com/art/Life-Death-148310461
The year’s closing strikes me as I cross the street to my day job this morning. The marks I’ve made, were they deep enough? The seeds I’ve planted, were they in fertile soil? The connections I’ve made, are they healthy? Have I worked on myself enough? If so, how am I different? These are my thoughts as the cool wet wind touches my face. The winter is approaching, a time for considering the current year’s gifts and plagues while preparing for the following year. These are markers in one’s life, but they are not everything. A year is a simple measure of time and not suited to hold all the answers. The loss of one and recognition of another does bring about many questions, however.
Many souls have moved forward, too many to mention here. Actors, musicians, artists, authors, athletes, friends, family, and more. Yet, many were born. The cycle of life is definitely spinning. In particular, the death of my friend in April inspired me to rise earlier and to be disciplined about my health and studies, as he was my age. I have fallen short in many ways, but that is no reason for discouragement. I am still here and fighting. Transformation is a lifestyle, not a quick fix.
I am grateful for the people in my life mostly, things will come and go. The people are absolutely amazing that I’ve had the honor of sharing my time with this year. I am still working to earn things, you see. Don’t let anyone in a Capitalist country tell you possessions aren’t important. They aren’t the whole, of course, but they are part of the story. The "day job" I referred to earlier is also part of this story. It is a temporary sore and not meant to sustain a healthy life, in my opinion. Health is holistic, including mind, spirit, and body. All sides must be considered. Money, possessions, owning a home, land, etc., all have a stake in this. You may disagree, that is fine. I know, however, in the upcoming year I will take control of my finances, become my own boss, and stand on firm ground. That is my declaration.
Though I journal and/or do some creative writing daily, I will also push myself to do more of the latter. My first novel, a science-fiction story, is yet to debut and has been resting, due to writing, recording, and producing music. I will release it, along with another solo album, in 2017, and more. Perhaps I will begin the novel’s sequel, more short stories, and poetry, who knows? Definitely more music is in store. I’m not sure I know how to stop any of these. I can only do my best to express these energies when they inspire me. When it all lines up, it is truly something to celebrate. Hopefully, you will be there with me.
-Mr. Fluid, 2016
