Good evening Hivers. You are welcome to another COMedy Rumble show. Today, I will try to make laughter medicine available to you all. But if my jokes do not make you laugh, that means my jokes are smaller than you expect. Just ensure you laugh, it is for free.
I don't like bringing my beloved country as a matter of jest, but to be a Nigerian and living large and loud is funny enough. There are some unique things that make oc.taus stand out. Some of this stuff is applicable elsewhere though.
Welcome to Nigeria where the husband is called Baby and the son is called Daddy. You can imagine me calling my son daddy and wife, baby. 馃ぃ馃ぃ馃槄 That why you hear a seventy year old man on phone speaking to his wife from the other end and calling her baby. Who is fooling who?
In my country, weddings must be on Saturday. I wonder what the "WED" in Wednesday is all about. Shouldn't weddings be held on Wednesday, or what do you think? In most cases, people can go extra mile to ensure that they give up all their life savings just to have a one in town wedding. And after that, the couple will starve. God bless Nigerians.
It is here in Nigeria, your relatives can contribute money for your burial but it is difficult to raise money to help you start-up a business馃槄馃ぃ馃槄. This is so true. It is rare, it isn't like it doesn't exist shaa.
Families can travel all the way to attend burial but you will hardly hear them helping you to do something positive by contributing money for your upkeep or something. That's where we find ourselves.
Let me welcome you to Nigeria where you will open the fridge and see an ice cream container with egusi soup (melon soup) inside.馃槄馃ぃ馃槀馃ぃ I can see you laughing now. Please, laugh too, it is medicine for the soul. Something like this happened to my chef friend who will pour a bottle of beer in a frying pan just to disguise. No one ever knew it was beer, we all took it for vegetable oil.
Until he opened up to me, that the content in the frying pan was beer and not vegetable oil. I started calling him ORORO, the pidgin name for vegetable oil in Nigeria.
Once again, let me welcome you to Nigeria where people buy a dog and name it tiger馃槄馃ぃ馃槀. I wonder what a tiger would be doing in a man's living room. That's my beloved country and countrymen for you. They do things to soothe themselves.
I am just trying to envisage it. What if a real tiger appeared, what would the owner say? Tiger, catch tiger 馃槄馃槀馃ぃ
A country where a married man will still complain that his girlfriend is cheating on him 馃槄馃ぃ馃槀馃槄. Is marriage not meant for two? The funny thing is that some of those men are proud to say that they have a girlfriend, one who must not cheat on them.
The question is, what is the man doing? Is he not already a cheat?
Looking at the displayed pictures in a barber's shop in Nigeria, you will be amazed that most of the pictures are just to beautify the shop. Thus, let me welcome you to Nigeria where barbers display pictures of hairstyles they can't even cut!馃槄馃ぃ馃槀馃槄馃槄馃ぃ馃槀
You are welcome to Nigeria where all detergents are called OMO (a popular brand of detergent) and all noodles are called indomie (also a brand of noodles) and all toothpastes are called Macleans.
I have the personal honour to welcome you to Nigeria where one medicine cures all illnesses. You'd just hear a marketer in a commercial box advertising a medicine and would say it can cure typhoid, malaria, hypertension, diabetes, snake bite, pile, arthritis, eczema, cataracts, and so on. This is my beloved Nigeria.
To participate in this contest, ready up the rules at The COMedy Rumble Contest. I will like to invite 
