When was the last time I did something for myself? I suddenly asked myself this question one day. The answer was not easy because I could not find what I had done for myself. We have heard since childhood that think of others first, then yourself. In the midst of family, responsibilities, relationships, my own desires gradually become silent and I was no exception to it.
Life was stuck in work, family, responsibilities. Every morning I wake up thinking about who needs what today? Who needs to answer the phone? Who needs to finish the work? Who needs to be happy but I don't think about what I want? To be honest, not much.
At one point, I noticed that I was doing everything but I was getting tired inside. I was doing everything but not making any space for myself. I understood that maybe I needed to be a little selfish now. But I got tense about who I could say no to.
One day, I deliberately put all my work aside for a while and went out alone in the afternoon. There was no special reason. Just to spend time with myself. I was sitting in a tea shop. No one was asking for anything, no one was expecting anything. That one hour made me feel strangely light.
Suddenly, a call came, "Friend, I need money, send it quickly." But I don't know why it's so urgent. And at that time, I looked at myself, thinking that it's the end of the month, I have a little money with me, and I told myself that all requests cannot be accepted. Earlier, I thought that if I don't say no, people will suffer, but now I understand that if I don't understand my own limits, my inner self will eventually break.
I understood that choosing yourself does not mean neglecting others, but keeping my own strength in order. Because if I become empty myself, I will not be able to give anything properly to anyone. Many of us have made ourselves the last priority. As if doing something for ourselves means a crime. Today, I sometimes make time for myself, put my mobile in airplane mode, leave my favorite songs a little far away from me. These are not very big things, but they are necessary for me.
Maybe from the outside it is selfish, but from the inside it is necessary for me. Maybe it's time to make some space for yourself in your life. Because always living for others, losing your own existence is the real loss.
