Growing up at my house meant it was me and my mom watching vh1 late into the night because my dad worked odd hours and was always gone once the sun finally set. My mom never censored what I would watch with her on the television. If she was watching Ron Jeremy fight with Vanilla Ice on the Surreal Life over a big booty bitch, then so was I, who cared if I was only 8.
My two favorite shows that her and I used to watch together would have to be "Flavor of Love, starring your boy Flava Flav" or "Rock of Love, starring your boy Brett Michaels." Hahaha, I low key grew up wanting to be a groupie or a stripper because of my mom in that respect. And to this day I still want to be a stripper but anyways that's not why were here. We all know that moms are crazy and mine was no exception. She always had the weirdest excuses when things didn't work out the way that she though they would or should and lately one time in particular has stood out in my mind.
It was back in 2001 when our girl Mariah Carey released her own movie, and if nobody remembers what that movie was called, don't worry I've got your back, the name of the movie was Glitter. Also lets clarify right now that I'm named after Mariah Carey. My mom might actually be Mariah's biggest fan I don't know. Anyhow, I remember watching Glitter with my mom and I remember loving the movie after we watched it. We both loved the movie! We loved the goddamned movie so much that my mom went and bought 3 VHS copies of it just in case we didn't have time to be kind and rewind one of the copies. Life was good.
After the movie had been out for a few weeks and there had been reports released saying that the movie absolutely bombed at the box office I remember my mom folding towels watching the news reporter say these terrible things about the movie flopping and she looked me dead in the eyes and says
"You know if 9/11 hadn't just happened the movie would have done better at the box office. Nobody wants to see a love story right now. It's too soon you know?"
And she kept on folding the towels and went on about her routine. At the time I just stared at her and agreed, I was 8 you know? But now that I'm 23 and I remember my mom blaming Mariah Carey's movie failure on 9/11; You're absolutely right mom.
So quick shout out to my mom for that memory. I love you, you crazy bitch.
But really though I loved the movie Glitter and if any of you ever need to kill an hour and a half of your life, just watch it.
Cheers to Thursday! Someone bring me some wine!
