I woke up one morning and realised… I couldn’t keep up anymore. I’d been trying, really trying to make sure nothing went wrong. Trying to bring back the love I once felt for my husband before we got married. But no matter how hard I tried, something was missing.
No one ever told me that you could fall out of love. Especially not after the vows, the “I do,” the excitement of the wedding, and the dreams we shared about the future. I mean, wasn’t love supposed to last?
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But it happened. Quietly. Painfully. Without any warning.
It’s been a year now, and I think I’ve fallen out of love with him.
I don’t feel the same anymore. The spark is gone. The butterflies? Gone. That deep longing to be close to him, it’s not there anymore. And it’s not because he cheated. It’s not because we had a big fight. It’s just… slow detachment. Little by little, it faded.
Still, I keep thinking: Isn’t it too early to give up?
How do you explain that you want to leave your marriage because… you fell out of love? It sounds like a weak excuse, even to me. If someone asked, “Why did you end your marriage?” what am I supposed to say? “I just didn’t feel it anymore?”
I married this man because I loved him, I was sure of it. So what changed? What exactly went wrong? I owe it to myself, and to him, to find out.
The first step is honesty with myself. No pretending, no pushing the feeling away. I have to really sit with the truth and ask, “What changed?” Is it me? Is it him? Is it just life?
It’s scary to admit that love might have shifted. Especially when everyone around you believes marriage is supposed to be your fairytale ending. I ask myself questions I don’t want to answer:
“Was it ever real?”
“Did I rush in?”
“Is this just a phase?”
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I try to force the old feelings back. I try to remember what it felt like to be in love, the softness, the sweetness, the comfort. But all that’s left now is… silence. Not hate. Not anger. Just emptiness.
And where I come from, divorce isn’t even seen as an option unless there’s violence or abuse. So, walking away isn’t the first answer. I need to think hard before I take any step.
Next, I know I have to talk to him.
Not the usual “we need to talk” kind of talk. A real, honest conversation, heart to heart. Because even though my feelings have changed, I still owe him the truth. Marriage isn’t just about the good feelings. It’s about how you handle the hard ones too.
And no, I won’t expect a specific reaction from him. I know it’ll hurt. I try to imagine him telling me he’d fallen out of love with me, it would crush me. So I won’t expect anything less from him.
But still, the conversation needs to happen.
Then comes the big question: Can we rediscover love in a new way?
Not the movie-type love that’s all fire and butterflies. But the kind that’s built day by day, with patience, forgiveness, and effort. The kind that grows with time and intentionality.
Maybe we need to start again.
Date again, Laugh again,Hold hands again, Be honest again.
It has to be both of us against the problem, not each other.
And if after all that, it still doesn’t work out, then maybe walking away won’t be failure. Maybe it’ll be the most loving, honest thing we could do for each other. Because staying and hurting each other slowly… that’s not love either.
