This will be the first of a series of posts exploring what it means to be a gentleman in our modern society. I do not claim to be an expert, nor a consummate gentleman. What I do claim is that I am learning and exploring this idea and hope to help some others, as well as gain insight from others, as I go along
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We live in an amazing time; all of the information you could ever want is in your pocket, meeting people is as simple as opening apps on your phone, movies, books, music, shopping - all available all the time to anyone anywhere, and to top it all off is the fact that you can do this all from the comfort of your own home. Technology is constantly propelling us forward in some ways, but in other ways having everything at our fingertips is forcing some of us to regress. The anonymity of the Internet means that the whole process of action - consequence has been thrown askew. It is really easy to slam people when you can't see the hurt you cause, ask for nude pictures when you can't get slapped in the face, and troll someone who may be twice your size when they can't reach you to beat you for being an ass. There is a heightened level of entitlement, "it is my right to be a little shit because you can't do anything about it."
This is the kid that keeps tea bagging you in Call of Duty... Image Credit
This entitlement is largely unavoidable on the great, wide web. The problem is that it carries over into real life when men are calling women bitches because they didn't respond positively to a brazen and disgusting advance or a guy gets a bloody nose because he forgot that the guy he was talking shit to wasn't on the other end of a game's chat. Which brings me to a topic that has been on my mind for a while - being a gentleman in the modern world.
A Google search will give you the following information:
gent·le·man
/ˈjen(t)lmən/
noun
1.a chivalrous, courteous, or honorable man.
"he behaved like a perfect gentleman"
Okay. Kind of vague. What does chivalry mean anymore? How do we define honor?
Chivalry was originally a code used by medieval knights in warfare and defined how a new social class (the knight) should behave. It evolved to a code of conduct that involved honoring your word, the church, and the state and never going back on your word. It often involved placing the weak behind you as you valiantly defended them with word and sword. This idea of "the weak" moved into the realm of inter-sex relationships and became a code by which men cared for the fairer sex (call a woman "fairer" today and you might get a knee to the groin to show you just how fair she is). In our modern society, women are working hard to be seen as equal to men and many don't want you to hold a door or pull out a chair. Women are not a weaker sex, there's a whole song about how they can do stuff men can do better. I mean, they push humans out of their jay-jays and, even though the just squeezed 7 pounds of flesh and bone from a hole normally the size of a finger and screamed painful obscenities the entire time, they will offer to do it again. Women are tough. They don't need men's protection. But this doesn't mean that men shouldn't offer it.
If you look at other things in the list of being chivalrous, they are pretty solid. Keeping your word? Solid. Standing up for others? Solid. Being generous and giving? Solid. Perhaps chivalry should no longer be extended from one gender to another, but is something that needs to evolve to include everyone. Hold the door for your bro because it's a nice thing to do. Pull out a chair for a lady because it's a nice thing to do. Pick up the check because you have a little extra cash from producing solid blog content on Steemit. Basically, just be nice because it's what you do.
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Chivalry does not have to be dead, it just needs to be different. With modern views on gender and equality, some of those old conventions are no longer applicable. Others need to be pushed to the forefront, like keeping your word and giving help where you can. With the technology we have, it is easy to keep your head down and ignore the people around you, but it is also easy to use that same technology to become more aware of the people around you. To be a modern gentleman means seeing that helping others, keeping your word, and maintaining your integrity is a big part of living in the current society. It doesn't matter if you are communicating with people thousands of miles away who will never meet you in person, just be cool.
That concludes part one. To briefly summarize - we live in a sweet time, it's easy to feel entitled because we are connected but disconnected, chivalry is not dead but just redefined, do nice stuff for all people and not just women.
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Sources:
Wikipedia
The Modern Gentleman
