Life is sometimes unfair in many ways; it keeps us away from our family members and the people we care about the most. They say that pursuing a career is important, and while we are about to do so, life takes us farther away from home. Even to places we do not desire to go in search of greener pastures.
They say that marriage is important in life, but some form of marriage is like bondage, especially when there are not enough resources for such a marriage.
My mom got married at a very tender age of about 14 years. (Adolescent marriage was common then.) She was taking far away from home, leaving her relatives in Benue State to be united with her husband in Sokoto State. You can imagine the distance between the two states if you travel through a 3-day journey from one to the other, occasionally entering boats to cross rivers. This was how Mom got separated from her siblings. With no mobile phones then or means of immediate communication, this distance between them grew from just physical to emotional and in every sense
My mom's other siblings lived much closer to our home town, their mom and dad, and other relatives, and you can imagine the bonds they kept forming among themselves, leaving out my mom.
In another sense, her siblings also had better education and grades and were financially stable than she was. Sometimes it feels somehow odd to be odd and separated from the ones you love, regardless of what life brings our way, be it marriage, career, or otherwise.
These days, I desire so much that a strong bond of love will be formed among my siblings, and distance should never be a barrier between us. I try my best to keep in touch with everyone. I created a WhatsApp group where everyone can mark their lovely presence daily, and we check on each other's progress, giving assistance to everyone and leaving none behind.
Inspired by this, my greatest wish this December is to spend Christmas with my extended family so that some form of relationship can evolve among us. I miss my grandma and a few relatives I came to know. Can you imagine that after Mom's demise, we felt like outcasts in our village? Nobody knows us, and it's unfair to say that you don't have a place in your maternal or paternal home.
They used to say that we have more witches in the village, and if you travel down, you will come back with misfortune. I do not mind any of these. I remember trying to avoid handshakes and hugs anytime we happened to be in the village because of suspicious witches,😂🤣 but not anymore.
There is always a homecoming every December holiday; all of the uncles and aunts will be coming home; plenty of cousins to relate to; and then again, the food, festivities, and bond of love—we are really missing out.
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Being cut off from your roots is deadly, and someday we need to find our way home. If there is anything I wish for this holiday, it is to see and be with my extended family.