Warning: This is a brain dump and somewhat long.
If you were to speak to people familiar with me - they will most likely tell you that I am a happy person. They will decide that based on my general countenance and mood and how I communicate. However, as you know true happiness is not superficial. As a result, the only one that can know whether I am happy is me.
A story
Some year ago, I took a sabbatical for 18 months. It was my honeymoon. My husband and I travelled to North and South America, the Caribbean and Asia. We saw and did a lot. We met many different people from different cultures. We saw that many people were happy with very little. By the time, we got to Asia - I noticed a pattern. We met such kind people who lived simply and they were mostly kind and welcoming. It was very impressive to see because people with the least amount of “things” were so willing to share and to assist.
I already knew that “things” are not the cause of happiness but the trip reinforced my understanding of happiness and my appreciation for the simple things in life. Kindness really cost nothing and means so much. We live in societies which operate differently - so I did not return to my daily life and gave away all my possessions. However, I have less attachments or feel the need to gather things. It became clear experiences made me the happiest. The trip was a perfect example. We still talk about the people we met at the places we visited. We even keep in touch with some of those people with whom we created special memories.
Family and Friends
Happiness for me is remaining in contact with friends and family. It is important for me to have a connection, especially being that I am far away from most relatives. I appreciate all my family - as the saying goes - "we can choose our friends but not family". However, I have noticed that I am more in contact with the family members who are the most positive. My good friends are now like my family locally; they are also like-minded.
Being around good and caring people is an important part of life. This is truly priceless!
A positive attitude
Being happy does not mean that things never go wrong, or have bad days or that I am never sad. It is how these situations are handled that makes a difference. Also, being positive does not mean that I am walking around cheerful all the time. My positive attitude is about my inner state. My inner state is just that - its inside and reflects on how I live and react to life.
I have a positive countenance and prefer to be around people who are like-minded. Being positive keeps me happy. I also believe that because I am generally a positive person - I attract the same kind of people. As a result, many of my friends are positive and we uplift each other.
Minding my self-talk
As I am not always with loved ones and I like to be by myself sometimes as well - I try my best to monitor my thoughts. The saying “I think therefore I am” can be interpreted in different ways. If one is thinking therefore one exists. In addition, it means that what you think you become. Therefore, I try to ensure that I think good, positive and wholesome thoughts. So many thoughts enter our minds daily - but it is all about focus. Therefore, I endeavour to focus on the good thoughts so that those will create happiness and thus create the right "things". I meditate sometimes and this help as well. I believe having the right mindset is all I need to be truly happy. Since I create with my mind - it does not cost me anything. Since I try to focus on positive thoughts, I attract positive people and events. It becomes a vicious cycle.
Giving back
Another thing that makes me happy is sharing. Giving back reminds me to be thankful and grateful. It is wonderful to share with someone knowing that their life will be enhanced in one way or another. It does not need to be a big gesture - sometimes it is the smallest thing that gives the most joy.
Money buys a lot but not happiness
I feel that I should touch on the subject of money…..
I think it is acknowledged that money is a means to many ends. It is a necessity to our existence as it facilitates our basic needs and wants. Without some of it, life can be difficult but there is no guarantee that with lots of it - all difficulties are eliminated. In the end, we are intrinsically the same character with or without money.
Ultimately my true happiness is within. Then I think it will be long lasting. It does not have much to do with what I have or who I am around. It is true that my 1)friends and 2)environment enhance my happiness, but I am not only happy because of these 2 elements. As I explained above, I observed some “poor” people who were happy. On the other hand, I know “rich” people who are unhappy.
Looking forward
These were my first thoughts regarding what makes me happy. I hope to continue to sustain and improve on all that I've mention. We only live once and it would be lovely to know, that we live a relatively happy life.
This is my response to Hive Learners - Happiness
the photo is my own