It's actually quite unbelievable how ignorant I am when it comes to money and, by extension, how the world works.
Granted, the last year or so I've been paying more attention so I actually think I'm a bit more savvy compared to those immediately around me, but by comparison to most people I still feel I'm very much in the dark.
This is because my life as an expat doesn't really leave me with concerns about things that are typically essential parts of daily life: Tax and Credit. Two immensely boring words.
Tax was not even on my radar until the last couple of years where we're expected to download an app, and once a year fill in some boxes which takes a few minutes, and then I never have to think about it again.
Credit is something I just never had the capacity to have as an Expat in this country, and with that comes my lack of understanding of interest, monthly fees, inflation, APR, Mortgages, Loans, or anything else.
In a lot of ways I feel like when I do go back to England, it will be like I'm returning the same age I left: 21. A 21-year-old graduate with a bad back and creaking joints.
This isn't just in my head either. The fact I've been away so long means I'm not a resident. This prevents me from pretty much everything I've tried so far to try and integrate back into society. I can't get a credit card, I can't get a loan. It's likely I will struggle even to find a place to rent.
And when I do eventually get one after returning, it'll take me months or years to build the score up so I can borrow anything above $100, which I can expedite through sneaky tricks and strategies but regardless comes at a loss of thousands of pounds through heavy interest rates. Just so I can be trusted by banks that demonstrably can't be trusted in any capacity (evidenced by the current state of the planet).
There are so many bureaucratic obstacles it's unreal how the western world has even survived this long. Although apparently, an absurd amount are not surviving at all so yeah, makes sense.
So, in order to get a credit card, I need to get a credit-building credit card, which has an APR of like 50% because my credit score is functionally ZERO. To a bank, this means I'm a dirty drug addict whose been imprisoned for fraud, declared bankruptcy and has all-ecompassing money management issues.
What it actually means is that I have had a stable income constantly from the moment I graduated, never had a single penny of debt, never had a criminal record or mental health issue, paid bills and rent on time consistently for my entire adult life, and have saved a decent amount of money - Thus never needing credit.
But what do I know eh? I'm just a dirty meth junkie probably.
That is... disturbing. Don't do drugs, kids
I can't even build it up in advance of my return here in China, because credit doesn't transfer across borders. I could spent ten years building a gloriously perfect credit history, and I can't get a credit card in the UK because there's no evidence I'm not a meth junkie.
I can't even start building credit in England, because I need to be a member of a bank for at least 1 month before I can apply. When I apply, because my credit score is so low, they will almost certainly deny my request.
If I do that, the very fact that I requested a card in the first place and got declined lowers my credit score. And the fact that they had to check my credit score in the first place also lowers my credit score??
But hey I can register to vote, that'll boost the score but like 2 points, right?. Except no, I can't because I've been abroad too long, and I don't have a formal address there and I'm not a resident. A resident is somebody who has lived there for 183 days or more in a given year. I'm also ineligible for a pension since I haven't got enough years left to contribute to National Insurance or whatever.
Well at least I have a good 'affordability score', meaning I have more raw cash than most citizens. Except... Since I put a huge pile of money into savings (meaning I can objectively afford to put that much money aside without spending it) - that score is completely wiped and now I'm considered poorer than average.
Great! That is a completely sensible and **logical **system you got going there, banks!
To add to all that joy, with inflation at 10.5%, the very act of putting my money into a UK account means I'm actively bleeding money, since the savings interest is a mere 3.2%.
I have to put it there regardless, one of the rules for immigration for my girlfriend is to have a massive chunk of money in a bank for a long time. Because why not?
And let's be clear, 10% inflation is a shaky official number to begin with. Truflation does their own numbers and puts it closer to 16%
And it was the despair I felt from this bleeding loss of my savings that forced me to think more about finances, after an entire life of blissful ignorance. The economy in the UK has crashed so terribly that it's actually forcing me to think about an exceptionally boring subject.
In the back of my mind, I just want to move all those savings straight into HBD savings which, even at 20% interest (on a USD peg with 3-4% inflation) just barely counteracts UK inflation. God, that's depressing.
That option isn't possible for now, though, so I have to accept that a huge chunk of my life's savings will, in short time, lose 16% in value, and I just have to find more ways to make up the losses outside of that money.
China leaves me with few options. Even Chinese rarely mess with the stock market as it's so dangerous and subject to the whims of the CCP. I remember a few years ago there was a dip, causing every ignorant holder to panic and pull their funds out - anticipating what the government would do. This caused a crash in the Shanghai Market, and the CCP force-closed the entire thing after a 7% fall until the next day. The obvious happened. When the markets opened again, they plummeted until they cut it off again at 7%, further increasing panic. This spiraled for some time, causing massive losses to millions of people.
The only thing Chinese people tend to invest in is real estate. Not something I'm particularly eligible for, but even if I got around that, you never actually own property in Communist China. It's just a glorified renting system, in which you can 'buy' a property for 30, 40, 70 years. After that you give it back to the state.
So it does in fact seem my only option to attempt to make up the losses is crypto. And, since I don't typically trade in Crypto because after experience years before, it doesn't generally seem very profitable beyond that of gambling, my only source is... Hive.
I trust Hive, I think it is an exception among an ocean of garbage. But what do I know, eh? I'm ignorant.
Pretty sure this is the right logo
For all I know, all these crypto games are a brilliant source of passive income. Maybe the hocus pocus day trading Bollinger Bands and Stochastic Oscillators are the true key to financial success.
In conclusion; Gimme more money!
In reality, I care very little about money. I have a strong sense of seeking happiness outside of the financial grind that rips human souls out of their bodies and puts them into the meatgrinder (to sell as soul burgers).
But I increasingly acknowledge I have to play the clearly rigged game of debt if I ever want to integrate back into Western society, and it just bugs me that it's somehow the accepted norm that everything I earned can just get taken away from me in all kinds of magical ways, most of which I still probably don't even realise.
