I was going through my Facebook feeds some weeks ago when I came across a post where everyone was talking about love language. They seemed to all know what their love language is. It was like I was the only one on earth that knew nothing about it.
I still didn't pay an immediate attention to my seeming deficiency, but it appears like I've been going through a phase lately, so today I decided to read about Love language, perhaps it could help solve some of my queries.
Love languages are those gestures that when demonstrated towards us, we will feel loved. They are those things people do to us and they make us feel loved.
The theory was first propounded by an American author and a talk show host, Dr. Chapman.
Chapman in his bestselling book, The five Love languages which was first published in 1992, grouped the various ways people give and receive love in romantic relationships into five groups, which he called The five love languages
He believed that everyone has his or her own primary love language. That is to say that there is a particular gesture that primarily turns an individual on and makes him or her to feel loved.
He urged couples to understand their partners love language and intentional try to speak love to them in the language they understand, as that will help to sustain a relationship.
He said that when a partner uses a love language that is not the primary love language of his or her partner, the desired result, which is making the partner to feel loved, might not be achieved.
He stated that when we use our partners primary love language, other gestures would only be the icing on the cake, whereas failure to use the primary love language of our partner might make other effort to appear futile.
I will go ahead to mention the five Love language according to Dr. Chapman
Words of affirmation: This is constantly verbalizing your feelings towards your partner. There are people that will never feel loved, valued, cherished or appreciated until you constantly tell them.
Quality time: There are people that just want you to spend quality time with them for them to feel loved. You could be buying them gifts and doing other good things, but until you spend quality time with them, they'll never feel loved.
Receiving gifts: You must buy gifts for some if you want them to feel loved. Don't misunderstand this, they might not be after your gift, but your gift will make them to know that you have them in mind.
Acts of Service: This is about undertaking tasks for your love interest. This might include cooking, washing, fixing the light bulb etc. You just have to do that for some to feel loved.
Physical touch: There are those who must be hugged, kissed, held, cuddled etc. Until there is some form of physical contact, they'll never know that they are loved by you.
Now that I have listed them out, do you think that everyone have a primary way they want to be loved?
If you think so, what's yours?
Now here is mine.
I think mine is words of affirmation. Just continue telling me that you love me, if not I might misunderstand whatever you might be doing to express love to me.
