We all know what anger is, and we've all felt it: whether as a fleeting annoyance or as full-fledged rage. Anger is a completely normal, usually healthy, human emotion. But when it gets out of control and turns destructive, it can lead to problems—problems at work, in your personal relationships, and in the overall quality of your life. And it can make you feel as though you're at the mercy of an unpredictable and powerful emotion.
Everybody gets angry yes, but out-of-control rage isn't good for you or those around you. When you can't control your anger, you may get into fist-fights or drive recklessly, for example, endangering yourself and others. But anger also plays havoc with your own body. Research shows that anger can increase people's — especially men's — chances of developing coronary heart disease and having worse outcomes if they already have heart disease. Anger can also lead to stress-related problems, such as insomnia, digestive problems, and headaches.
it is a general knowledge that action taken out of anger is usually regretted and hence one needs to control his/her anger so as not to make a costly mistake or rather hurt the loved-ones.
If you are ready to get your anger under control you may have to consider the following steps towards dealing/managing your anger.
Think before you speak
In the heat of the moment, it's easy to say something you'll later regret. Take a few moments to collect your thoughts before saying anything — and allow others involved in the situation to do the same.
Once you're calm, express your anger
As soon as you're thinking clearly, express your frustration in an assertive but in a way that is not confrontational. State your concerns and needs clearly and directly, without hurting others or trying to control them.
Get some exercise
Physical activity can help reduce stress that can cause you to become angry. If you feel your anger escalating, go for a brisk walk or run, or spend some time doing other enjoyable physical activities.
Take a timeout
Timeouts aren't just for kids. Give yourself short breaks during times of the day that tend to be stressful. A few moments of quiet time might help you feel better prepared to handle what's ahead without getting irritated or angry.
Identify possible solutions
Instead of focusing on what made you mad, work on resolving the issue at hand. Does your child's messy room drive you crazy? Close the door. Is your partner late for dinner every night? Schedule meals later in the evening — or agree to eat on your own a few times a week. Remind yourself that anger won't fix anything and might only make it worse.
Stick with 'I' statements
To avoid criticizing or placing blame — which might only increase tension — use "I" statements to describe the problem. Be respectful and specific. For example, say, "I'm upset that you left the table without offering to help with the dishes" instead of "You never do any housework."
Don't hold a grudge
Forgiveness is a powerful tool. If you allow anger and other negative feelings to crowd out positive feelings, you might find yourself swallowed up by your own bitterness or sense of injustice. But if you can forgive someone who angered you, you might both learn from the situation and strengthen your relationship.
Use humor to release tension.
Humor can help defuse rage in several ways.
For one thing, it can help you get a more balanced perspective. When you find yourself thinking of a coworker as a single-cell life form, think what that would look like, picturing an amoeba sitting at a desk and talking on the phone. Or draw a picture. Doing so will take the edge off your fury or help defuse a tense situation. Humor can also help when you find yourself being unreasonable. If you find yourself thinking that things not going your way is an unbearable indignity you shouldn't have to tolerate, picture yourself as a god or goddess who always gets your way while others defer to you. The more detail you add, the more you'll realize how unreasonable you are and how unimportant the things you're angry about really are. There are two cautions in using humor. First, don't try to just "laugh off" your problems. Rather, use humor to help yourself face them more constructively. Second, don't use harsh, sarcastic humor. Such humor is just another form of aggression. What these techniques have in common is a refusal to take yourself too seriously.
Practice relaxation skills
When your temper flares, put relaxation skills to work. Practice deep-breathing exercises, imagine a relaxing scene, or repeat a calming word or phrase, such as "Take it easy." You might also listen to music, write in a journal or do a few yoga poses — whatever it takes to encourage relaxation.
Visualize peace
Try this technique to stop rising anger before it overtakes you. Imagine your breath as a wave, a surge of color, or even a breeze. Watch it come in and out; optimally each breath will be deep and quiet. Hear yourself speaking calmly and softly to yourself and to others. Your anger reflex should diminish another degree each time you do this imaging. Know when to seek help.
Seek for Help
Learning to control anger is a challenge for everyone at times. Seek help for anger issues if your anger seems out of control, causes you to do things you regret or hurts those around you.
You may also try these other tips for easing up:
i. Give yourself a break.
ii. Make sure to schedule some personal time during especially stressful parts of the day.
iii. You might have a rule that the first 15 minutes after coming home from work will be quiet time, for example. With this brief respite, you'll feel better prepared to handle demands from your kids without blowing up.
