Have you ever dated a man knowing damn well it would probably end in disaster? I have fallen in Love with disastrous men more than once. I don't revel in my misfortune I write about it. The Love I have for tragedy has taught me to Kick Ass in Life, so its cool. Adversity builds character and I am dripping with character. One might ask why I keep dating amidst such turmoil? A short answer: I'm boy crazy, I get horny, plus I am built for All of the Things. I met this Capricorn over the summer and was smitten by his Physical. I had been celibate for months and immediately thought he was the guy to break my dry spell. He took too long so I banged the Leo instead (see previous post for details). My father and roommate are both Capricorn men. I generally try to avoid men with this astrological placement as a rule of thumb. Rules are apparently meant to be broken and I slowly slipped into a passionate bubble of mush with this guy. I gave this guy my phone number and it took him a month to call me. I waited about a week before I forgot about him. Lets call him Solomon. Solomon the Capricorn was much too strategic to just call me. Instead he called me in the middle of the most Peaceful Day in Atlanta. As I watched the Solar Eclipse he came through my line. This smooth serpent had years of practice on Panty Melting and I was ripe for the picking. Initially we had horrible communication. I blocked his number from my phone every other day because his actions and words were not in alignment. (He is making small improvements now). At the time of our meeting I had come up with a sure to win plan on keeping bad guys away from me. Looking back the plan kind of sucked. At the time I felt smart and empowered. I was sick of guys trying to get me drunk and make their way into my apartment. I was tired of dinner ending in sexual advances. I was tired of guys who didn't care about fresh fruit. I devised a plan that kept 12 men away and kept my legs closed for months. While talking to my current guru I made a statement that guys are so dumb and if they half-listened to me they would offer me fresh fruit instead of Hennessy. As soon as I said it I decided that I wouldn't go on a date until a man gave me fruit. To spice up the plot I began asking men for exactly 12 organic bananas. Men are foolish and I live in the ghetto so this kept out a bunch of guys...... 12 to be exact. Here comes Solomon with his horrible communication and flashy clothes. After he stood me up a bunch of times he entered my apartment with exactly 12 organic bananas he'd purchased at my favorite health food store. As a bonus he brought a month's supply of Moringa so I could make proper smoothies. He always smelled nice and he worked as a property manager at a local apartment complex. Naive Mosi thought the flashy jewelry and cars he had came from hard work paying off. I would later find out he was hustling all sorts of things, and no one has that much jewelry from working a 9-5. Of course I thought that Solomon was divinely sent because he brought the bananas. Not realizing at the time that this Capricorn was a trained Con-Artist I fell head over feet immediately. To be continued.........
