A Conversation With My Younger Self

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"Don't Let Their Words Define You. Let Them Eat Them"

'Remember that essay topic in Communications Class?'

'Yes, I remember!'

"The Person I Admire The Most".

(THEN)

I'm 17 years old, with an extreme case of Stage Fright!

Anxiously sitting in class listening to everyone's presentations, marvelling at the variety of well known public figures my fellow classmates find most admirable and who they'd wish to be like (including Oprah Winfrey, Princess Diana, Mother Theresa, and even their favourite parent). So idealistic are the stories, that I'm starting to visualise descending angels singing and playing harps.

My heart pounds, and I'm desperately hoping for delays, so that I'll be saved by the bell - no such luck!

Then comes the last student to present - me.

My opening statement to the person I admire the most:

"Proud and Conceited you might think, but with a topic like this, I could think of no one else but myself."

...arouses everyone. There's a synchronised suspire of disapproval and disbelief, but luckily the teacher interjects to my defense and asks the class to allow me to continue.

The highlights of what makes me my most admirable person:

my love for introspection and evaluating myself and working on me.
my tendency to accept all trials and tribulations as they come and find ways to conquer them.
realising that I'm not perfect, and admiring all my imperfections as a part of me.
believing that others judgement of me, is not my concern.
taking criticisms objectively (without prejudice) and believing in myself enough to not care too much about compliments.

I must point out, that I'm the girl that everyone loves to hate, yet hates to love. My classmates admire my carefree attitude, and they identify the "IDGAF" persona in my demeanour - a dismay to most teachers.

Still, my presentation ends, and my teacher is giving me a standing ovation.

"That's beautiful", says my teacher, smiling.

My teacher is kind enough to compliment me on my ability to stand before the class and speak of my personal qualities in that way.
My teacher expresses to the class that there's nothing conceited, but that it takes someone with strong character to identify these qualities and traits - something which many take a lifetime to figure out.

Adding icing on the cake of my classmates, I earn the top mark for the presentation.

Pointer: Although I suffered stage fright, I had broad shoulders and also thick skin for criticisms. Traits which I've maintained.

(NOW)

27 years later, looking back, I'm pleased to say that my personal growth has far surpassed any limited expectations I probably had of myself.

In hindsight, I now have a better and more comprehensive understanding of the importance of embracing those attributes, which have helped me to withstand and overcome much adversity throughout my life.

However, these are some tips that I'd give my younger self:

1st tip to my younger self

Learn profitable skills and identify your passion: Once you figure out what sparks your interest the most, try to develop it by practicing and continuously seek ways to improve on that skill. This might enable you to monetise that skill.

(Here, I barely recognise 12 year old me at music lessons admiring my friend playing the piano, while I pretended to be interested because of the camera above my head. With that, I had evidence to show my Mum that I was attentive, but simply wasn't keen on learning how to play the piano, hence, I was no good at it).
(I think it's important for parents to observe the natural talents of their children and try to support it instead of making them do the things they find interesting for themselves).

2nd tip to my younger self

Look after your body and and keep yourself in peak shape: Your body is like an engine - you have to power it up for it to work. Eating healthy and doing some form of exercise is important for your overall well-being. The older you get the harder it will be to get your body in shape. Cardio health is vital because your entire blood flow depends on it.

3rd tip to my younger self

The Importance of Time and Energy: - your time and energy are very valuable currencies that you must spend and invest wisely.

Be mindful of the people around you and the energies they give to and take from you. Celebrate and enjoy your own company and never mind anyone thinking you're lonely. Be very selective of how much and when you give your time to others and be respectful of the time others make for you, by ensuring that you reciprocate and allocate time for them.

4th tip to my younger self

Less Makeup, More Sunscreen: - take pride in grooming, but ditch the concept of only leaving the house wearing makeup. Be confident in who you are as a person, and make your personality shine through. Show the world that you may have uneven skin tone and blemishes, but let them feel your soul, your beautiful heart, and your uniqueness as you are. Learn to love and accept yourself in your natural state, and only use makeup for more formal or special occasions, but always protect and your nourish your skin - the largest organ of the body.

5th tip to my younger self

Accept that you are not super woman, only human: - take life as it comes with it's ups and downs. Life is all about balance and there'll be good days and bad days. Appreciate and try to see the light on bad days and cherish the good days when they come.

A little secret: My younger self (about 7 years old) had a favourite tree in an empty lot close to my house. Many days I'd go sit by the tree admiring the strong roots while observing the leaves and branches swaying in the wind. I wanted to be that tree. Yet, I had a special admiration for birds. I would admire their ability to fly high and go wherever they wanted. I felt conflicted. I would question how could I want to be firm and rooted yet free like a bird.

Now everything makes more sense to me: