Men are said to be inhabitants of Mars and women of Venus.
It seems to be true, indeed, very true.
Picture of Author and Mary in Portugal.
And that is the definition that all the arrogan people from one sex or the other use when they get disagreements or they do not get to understand the other sex.
When focusing on such definition, both are building up a wall, avoiding to find that subtle balance, where sometimes you fall on the male side and other times you fall on the female side. It's a balance and sometimes they both fall. But it's easier to say that:
"due to the fact that we have different genitals and we come from different planets, it's hard to communicate".
- How the heck can men and women comes from two different planets if there is not oxygen there???
- How the heck men and women "are facing so many difficulties in communication" yet when it comes to sex they immediately forget all of these communication.
Well, probable it's because they are talking about sex and they have no idea about how to make a real amorous fusion but this would be a huge different story.
Men are expected to be rational, women to be more impulsive. While men are often biased by women losing the healthy and practical rationalism and women are often biased by men refusing to express their selves.
In a tantric perspective, Man is the rational and polarizing part of the couple. Woman is the creative and more "exagitated" part of the couple. They balance each other and that's how the couple works: like a game to find together a balance between each other's aspects, growing together and keeping their polarities.
This brief introduction to say that when I started hanging out with my (not-yet at the time) wife Mary, I found that she was not ambitious almost at all.
Picture of Author and Mary in Austria: the Guinness World Record tibetan-style bridge.
She probably grew up in a not-really-stimulating environment so she really saw her life as a 9-5 job, dealing often with marginal stuff wasting time and energies with low quality diet, indulging in activities that were simple time-losses and dealing with energetic vampires (people that steal energy from you).
On the other hand, I was ramping up with my entrepreneurial path, so we could barely talk about other work because I could not stand her remissivity. Probably she could not stand my overwhelming ambition and aspiration to become the next Elon Musk.
My ego was too much predominant in that moment so even if I had a lot of great intention, I later realized that probably, the ego overwhelmed as well her will to listen.
Picture of the Author and Mary, in Chianalea (Reggio Calabria, Italy)
But then, I learnt how to deal with it, I learnt that giving the example is a much powerful inspiration than simple words so I started teaching and inspiring her with my example, being always learning, deepening things and so on.
The process took some time, but I understood that the purest and clearest are the intentions, the faster can be the transformation. And back then, I suggested to be involved when her and the Professor she worked (and still works with), were organizing big meetings. And I supported them with all the negotiation with sponsors and communication to gather more participants.
Doing such, I could easily show her the "leverage mechanism", making her understand how, in some fields, by doing a specific action you can be paid several times more with the same effort.
Congresses could have 100 or 1000 people. Our work was the same, but the income could potentially be 10 times higher.
Later, I started presenting her some of the people I really felt true esteem, and even if I started making harsh comparisons and our ego was taking too much ground, we both understood that I was acting in good faith and many toxic people were eliminated from our monthly/weekly schedule or simply strongly limited.
So, when it comes to me and my partner, I learnt from experience the best way to express myself and how to detach ego from ethical willpower, giving examples rather than tons of words and being coherent with what I was trying to share and inspire to Mary.
So well, while I was teaching her, I was teaching myself. That is why we also decided to merry :D
Picture of the Author and Mary during their marriage