GRATITUDE AND YOUR HAPPINESS
"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have."
– Koenig, German Inventor
Once upon a time, there was a young boy who belonged to a very rich family. He did not have enough friends for his liking, and he used to get angry a lot and lash out. He vented his frustration on all of his family's servants.
One day, he went with his father for a trip to the countryside. His father wanted to show him how poorer people lived.
They reached a farm in a nearby village, which belonged to a very poor family of five.
The boy and his father spent many days in the village, observing the people who lived there. On their way back, the father asked, "My son, did you like the trip?"
The boy answered, "Oh, I loved it. It was great!"
The father asked, "Did you see how the poor people live?"
The boy said, "Yes, I did."
The father asked him to explain in detail what he felt about the trip.
The boy replied, "Dad, we own one dog while the poor people have four dogs. We have only one pool in the garden, and they live at a place where the river is endless.
We have shiny and expensive lanterns; they can see bright stars above them at night. We go to festivals for recreation while they have an entire horizon to explore. We live on a small plot while they are owners of enormous fields. We purchase food; they can grow it. We protect our properties with a fence; they have friends to protect them."
The father was speechless. The son added, "Thanks, Father. You gave me a chance to see that we are the ones who are poor."
True happiness cannot be measured in material terms. Human beings cherish the emotions of love, freedom, spirituality, and friendship to lead happy lives.
One thing that unhappy people do is rationalize about how bad their situation is, but in reality their problems are considering a tiny speck compared to other people's problems.
Get Some Perspective
Sometimes we forget to make the most of each problem we face. Like Kelly Clarkson says "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger".
Studies have shown that trauma survivors have reported showing post traumatic growth (PTG). Trauma survivors have shown a positive shift by having a renewed appreciation for life. Also by viewing the world in a different way. They feel more personal strength, more spiritually satisfied and relationships improve.
If you feel that you are facing hardship and big problems, try to understand people who are going through a greater hardship. In this way, you will develop a confidence that your problem is smaller, and you will be able to tackle it successfully.
Also remember to learn from your problems and grow as a human being. Usually the wisest people on earth are the people who have been through the most problems.
View the whole world, where people are likely suffering from bigger and greater problems than the ones you face. The moment you feel that your problem is much smaller, you will be able to motivate yourself with exuberance and confidence to resolve the issue.
You must make an effort to serve those people who have a greater need than yours.
Secondly, reflect on your life. You must have had problems in the past, and they came and went. Similarly, the present situation will also fade away. Time is not permanent; it does not wait for anyone and passes quickly.
Try to utilize your present in the best way. There is no point in dwelling on the past, but learn the lessons of past situations, and pledge not to repeat those same mistakes. Take control of the present, and live each moment happily. The secret to happiness is to live in the present. You will become confident and start trusting your instincts and abilities.
Thirdly, have a relaxed approach towards life. It may not happen overnight, but practice makes perfect. As mentioned earlier, nothing is permanent. Therefore, do not worry about your present problems. Instead, have a calm approach, relax your mind, and think of a probable solution to deal with the problem.
Sharing problems is a good way of being happy. You get a different opinion about your problem, which gives you the confidence and energy to deal with it. Speak with knowledgeable and wise people you can trust.
Another way to boost your long-term happiness is by focusing on daily gratitude.
Daily Gratitude
How does gratitude affect our happiness? Gratitude helps us recognize and appreciate what we have. This can drastically reduce the constant desire for more.
Gratitude helps us strengthen relationships, improve health, and reduce stress, ultimately leading to long-lasting happiness.
Individuals who regularly practice gratitude exert more positive emotions, feel more alive, and show more compassion for others. These individuals help make the world a better place not only by helping themselves become happier but, more importantly, by making others happy as well.
So how do we build that habit of gratitude? It starts by making the decision to commit to the path and make gratitude a daily action in your life.
4 Daily Practices for Gratitude
Take Notice
Open your eyes, and notice your day-to-day world from a perspective of gratitude. There is so much we take for granted.
Start a gratitude journal, and write down every single thing you are grateful for right now. I bet you could fill up two full pages right now if you really thought about it. Continue to add to this journal whenever you come up with something new—you'll find this will happen almost every day.
Another way to take notice is to say, "I'm grateful for…" about everything you touch in the day. I'm grateful for my bed, my toothbrush, my coffee, etc.
Think about it; there is someone in the world right now who does not have that in his or her life. Take notice.
"Flip the Switch" to Positive
Look, we all have bad experiences and bad situations. Look for the silver lining. Take every negative situation, and flip it to a positive situation. Ask yourself, "What can I learn from this?"
When looking back at bad situations from our past, there is usually a very good lesson we learned. Most times, the situation we thought was so bad at the time turned out to be a positive experience in disguise.
No Negativity for 14 days
Make the conscious decision not to say anything negative to or about anyone for fourteen days. For two weeks, no criticizing or gossiping about anyone or anything.
I tried this, and I came to realize that I was used to saying something negative about a job, coworker, or boss almost every day. I also noticed that, when I did that, I was encouraging my coworkers and friends to say negative things as well.
After taking this challenge, I often caught myself saying something negative and immediately made a positive comment right after.
I'll be honest: it was hard at first. But towards the end of the two weeks, I noticed that it became easier, and I began to train my brain away from its habits of negativity.
Try this. You'll notice how much energy you've spent on negative thoughts. It can work wonders!
I know you can do it, but do you believe you can?
Compliment Daily
Try to give at least one compliment a day. Giving a genuine compliment can be an awesome positivity boost. Compliments are good not only for the person receiving them but also for the person giving the compliment.
When you go out of your way to say something nice or to praise someone for their hard work, it can skyrocket that person's confidence and help his or her self-esteem to flourish—and it can do the same for yours.
Stop right now, and give a compliment to someone who has made a positive impact on your life. Tell someone you are proud of him or her. Not only will you reinforce that person's self-worth, but you will also strengthen your relationship. You may also notice that others want to be around you more.
For a more rewarding experience, try to handwrite a letter to someone who has been inspirational or influential or has made a positive impact on you in some way. Handwritten letters are kind of a lost art; that's what makes it so heartfelt.
Just a note: When you give a compliment, it should only rarely be about the person's appearance. Try to talk about something that makes that person truly special.
Give compliments freely without expecting anything in return.
