Remind me to feel pain

What do you do so you can feel yourself again? To feel that you are still a human being? Me, I love feeling pain. It makes me think and feel like I am still a human being.

Negativity always comes out when they see people with tattoos like 'ang dumi ng balat, parang kriminal', 'di yan makakahanap ng trabaho kasi di mukang professional, may tattoo eh' , for girls 'kababaeng tao may tattoo'.

the skin is dirty, it looks like a criminal', 'that person can't find a job because he doesn't look professional, he has tattoos', for girls 'women with tattoos

As the saying goes 'Don't judge the book by its cover', maybe they haven't realized that they are already judging other people by their cover. And then I thought, 'what others think of you, actually says a lot more of them than of you, it reflects who they are, not who you are.'

I only have four tattoos. Planning to get another soon of course. Why did I decide to get tattoos? Because sometimes, I don't feel like a human anymore. I just wanted to feel pain in some way or maybe to divert any emotional pain into physical pain. I don't know. But I just wanted to have a reminder. A reminder of something, a reminder that I am still human and I am still here.

I wanted to have a tattoo that I can only understand because, in real life, I don't even understand myself.

May 2013
FIND THE HIDDEN ARIES
This is located at the center of my lower back in my spine area. This was very very painful. I didn't know how or what to feel when the needles touched my skin. I think this one took more than an hour because it tickles but it's painful at the same time.

My second tattoo was just very simple but for me the most meaningful tattoo I have. I just picked a font and mirrored the image, then my artist added a splash watercolor effect.

Dec 2015
The phrase ' Memento Mori' means 'remember you must die'. Dark? yeah, but this serves as a reminder for me. That's why I mirrored the font so when I look in the mirror I can read this phrase clearly, to remind me of the opposite meaning, 'remember you must live'.

My third tattoo is Braille

Oct 2016
Another reminder. Originally, I just want the Braille but I feel like it's very plain and I needed to add some colors or at least minimal design along with it. I asked my artist about his idea or if he can add something to it. One of his suggestions was something like the picture below and I liked it.

And for my last tattoo, the bracelet tattoo.

Feb 2018
LAST HOPE
I customize my design as much as possible. By this time, it's been a trend of minimalist tattoos but I wanted a design with a minimalist style but something on my own too. Originally it was designed like this...

However, the size might be too big and my artist suggested removing the lines instead. A lot of people also ask me what is it and what language is it.

It was just a line from the song Last Hope by Paramore.

The blood in these veins isn't pumping any less than it ever has
And that's the hope I have, the only thing I know that's keeping me alive

FONT IN ALL CAPS, cut the line horizontally and interchange the lower and upper parts of the line. Or just like this...