I wrote this article in 2019, and I'd like to share it with you since I've been so open with you about my life that it's only fitting that I also explain why my son is our rainbow baby.
This is a lengthy article, so I ask for your patience...
I believed being pregnant would be the best time of our lives as a married couple. Despite the announcement of our child, my husband and I had been feeling whole. When we realized that I was four weeks pregnant, we admitted me to the Chong Hua Private Hospital in Cebu, which filled us with joy and excitement.
For two weeks, we had both been anticipating the preparations to be made, what to expect when my belly begins to show symptoms of our incoming child, and the many plans we had for our future family. We never imagined that this awful event would occur, but we don't control our lives and destinies, therefore we were unaware that the kid we thought would be our firstborn would be stolen from us so soon.
It's been more than a week since that event, and although I don't wish to recall the pain I endured on that day, I'd like to keep this piece as a reminder of him or her and what I went through, which altered my perspective on conception and pregnancy. I hope that this essay will help me remember my first child, even if he/she was only a few weeks old when we considered him/her our first.
When I recall the events of a week ago, I can't help but cry because they happened so quickly, like fast automobiles passing before my eyes, and I'm not sure if I can recall every detail. I shall attempt to relay this story.
Pain reappeared
That Friday, I worked from home in order to pack for our trip to Bohol that evening. Due to our busy schedule, it's been a while since we've been home. Therefore, we were both eager to return to Bohol.
However, the exhilaration was replaced by anguish as I experienced stomach pangs and a rectal spasm simultaneously. I called James and explained how I was feeling, and he instantly informed his manager that he will be required to work undertime due to my predicament. He hurried home and arrived shortly after four p.m. to discover me asleep in bed.
He attempted to soothe me, but the pain has not subsided. What I was experiencing was identical to how I felt when I was hospitalized two weeks prior. But since we don't want to derail our plan to return to Bohol, we've chosen to pursue the plan and seek my parents' assistance in this matter.
I was forced to endure discomfort while traveling; I had the want to defecate but was unable to. I did not sleep well that night on board the ship, and by the time we arrived the Ubay Port, I was nearly exhausted. I am merely attempting to bear the discomfort, but I was on the verge of passing out. Thankfully, we arrived home at 4:00 a.m., and my parents offered me essential oils to alleviate the agony. They believed that I had trapped gas in my body that needed to be expelled to alleviate the discomfort, but this did not help.
A Local Midwife's Suggestions
When my mother gave birth to me almost three decades ago, a local midwife assisted her. Although she is a bit older, she is still able to assist in labor and massage pregnant women to alleviate any pain they may be experiencing. Therefore, my mother considered allowing her to feel the baby inside of me and massage it if necessary to alleviate the pain I was experiencing.
In fact, she arrived and observed that the infant is in an odd position. She was able to alleviate my rectal spasm since, after receiving a massage, I was no longer in discomfort. However, she informed me that we must seek medical counsel from an OB-GYN. She referred us to someone from Jagna, which was only two towns away, so we went to Dr. Cero.
Dr. Cero's Disclosure
There was a lengthy line of largely pregnant women with varying sized tummies, as well as some who arrived for their pre-natal appointments. One patient came for an ultrasound to determine the baby's gender, while the others had similar pregnancy-related difficulties to mine. It took almost three hours before I was seen to, but we were patient enough to wait.
I must endure another transvaginal ultrasound, per Dr. Cero, as I am already six weeks pregnant. A gestational sac should now be seen, signifying the presence of a baby within my uterus.
Similar to how the TVS was performed in Chong Hua, Dr. Cero had me lie down on a bed before inserting the TVS instrument inside of me. She then checked the screen and moved the object, and I informed her that I experience discomfort whenever she moves the tool. A few minutes later, with a troubled expression on her face, she informed me that she does not observe any gestational sac.
This time, she performed an abdominal ultrasound, but nothing was found. She performed one more tvs, and this time she believes that her intuition is correct: I have an ectopic pregnancy. This term makes me depressed even now. She instructed me to urinate, and we will do a second pregnancy test. The test was positive, and she quickly sent me to another OB-GYN at the public hospital nearby so that we might receive assistance with the problem.
As I await the printed outcome, I cannot help but cry. I cannot fathom that my kid is nowhere to be found in my uterus, but the midwife who earlier palpated my stomach informed me that she can feel the baby's heartbeat. I was bewildered and hoping that the baby is still inside of me and that this pregnancy will be fine in the end.
Experiencing Ectopic Pregnancy
The images of the results were displayed to me while the Tagalog-speaking OB-GYN discussed my issue. According to the ultrasound, there is a tremendous amount of fluid within my uterus; this could be the cause of my menstrual-like pains. There is also a three-centimeter complicated lump in the left side of my uterus, which is extremely painful when poked. The gestation sac cannot be located, yet a positive pregnancy test has been performed. The OB cannot reach any other conclusion but Ectopic Pregnancy.
She went on to explain that Ectopic Pregnancy is an umbrella term for all aberrant pregnancies in which the gestation sac or the fetus is not located within the uterus. The kid might be in the Fallopian Tube, as is the typical situation, and growing, but since the tube is not a muscle, it will not grow, ending in a rupture that would cost me my life. Therefore, the only treatment is an operation in which both the Fallopian Tube and the baby are removed.
This was explained to me in the lobby of the public hospital while all eyes and ears were focused on me. As there were hundreds of eyes in the foyer, I tried not to cry out of fear. The doctor requested that the nurse bring me to a room for an internal investigation (IE). As I was already hemorrhaging internally, the doctor advised my husband and parents that I must undergo surgery quickly.
The doctor entered the room, donned gloves, and began to examine me, however I am in excruciating pain during the examination. She stopped and informed me that if I have a normal pregnancy, I won't feel any pain, thus I must undergo surgery. I cannot stop crying since I was not prepared for this. I cannot yet let go of my first child, so I asked James if we could go home, but the doctor told we could not. Or, if we insist, she will ask us to sign a disclaimer indicating that she is no longer responsible for anything that may occur to me outside the hospital.
We must make a determination. James agreed to the operation, but I had to apologize to him for what had transpired. He too cried. This continued till the ambulance transported us to the city of Tagbilaran. The previous hospital's lack of an anesthesiologist necessitates a referral to the city hospital.
The Ramiro Hospital Operation
Four o'clock in the afternoon, we arrived at the private hospital in Tagbilaran City. After my husband secured a room for my admission and everything was prepared, I was taken to the operating room, where the doctors and an anesthesiologist awaited my arrival. Before I was moved, the physician in Jagna had already contacted the private hospital and arranged for me to undergo surgery immediately.
They put me in a hospital gown, the doctor reexamined me, and when I confirmed the agony, she gave the anesthesiologist permission to administer general anesthetic. Doctor Nazareno, the anesthesiologist, and her assistant administered anesthetic to my spinal cord, and after a few seconds I could no longer feel half of my body. Then I felt dizzy, drowsy, and chilly, but since I couldn't feel anything below my stomach, it was my upper body that was experiencing the chills and shivering.
I was still able to communicate with Dr. Nazareno, who informed me that my shaking and chills were anesthetic side effects. She was constantly present throughout the operation to monitor my status. They had also provided me with oxygen just in case.
During the operation, I can feel Dr. Lazaro cutting, pulling, and doing something else in my belly, but I am experiencing no pain. In addition, a catheter was placed inside of me so that all of my urine can be directed there.
The shaking was so severe that I asked Dr. Nazareno to put me to sleep. She agreed to get me another nap, and after a few minutes I was silenced. When I opened my eyes, I could feel Dr. Lazaro sewing my abdomen, indicating that the anaesthetic had begun to wear off.
I fell asleep again. The next thing I remember, I was already out of the operating room, and James and my parents had been called by the nurse to transfer me to the recovery room.
Recovery Period
After the operation, I had to embrace the fact that there was now a cut in my abdomen, which was a harrowing sensation I had never anticipated.
I lost a tiny bit of weight after spending five days in the hospital, eating nearly nothing and relying on dextrose for energy, followed by three days on a soft diet. I also lost my appetite after consuming only soft foods; when I began eating solid foods, I began vomiting and also had loose stools.
This lasted three days, but thankfully my body was able to return to normal. After that, I returned to Guindulman to recuperate and attempt to return to my most normal state. Life must carry on, and I must hope for the best for our marriage and family.
This surgical scar on my abdomen will remain forever; it will serve as a continual reminder that a child was once conceived inside of me, which caused both temporary joy and pain, but was something my husband and I desired.
