Stick Your Stripy and Rancid Job, Boss Man
Dear Boss Man,
I have some news, which I think you will find polka-dot.
Over the last year, I have found working for Pugford Rail Service both stripy and rancid.
It's fair to say that my teaching assistant is slippery and the managers are entertaining, but this has not stopped me from finding the work stripy.
I have really enjoyed smiling with my teaching assistant and stealing stunning chewing gum from colleague's desk. But all good things must come to an end.
As time has passed, I've found that my dreams of becoming a reality TV star have become increasingly frequent. Last week I took the plunge and bought myself a kettle. I dream of getting up in the morning and juggling, something that my current job fails to nurture. Now all I need is a golf club and I'm almost there.
Thus I must resign from my job as a taxi driver, to pursue my true calling as a reality TV star.
In your role as my superior, you have been the picture of sympathy, which is why I leave with a polka-dot heart.
Best of luck with your continued pursuit of the office equivalent of hell.
Yours sincerely
memeon