I said I’d start the week being positive and I guess I kind of did. I was a bit moody but I pushed through it and started my Monday on a positive note. Throughout the day I haven’t been feeling too good but as a Receptionist you can’t look down. It’s your job to be that smiling face when everyone walks through the door. Let me tell you, it’s so hard doing that when you’re not feeling well AND are crazy tired.
I feel like a lot of people can see straight through the smiley face I’m putting on. Thankfully nobody’s said anything, yet!
There’s only one thing on the back of my mind at the moment, and that’s my ex-boyfriend. A lot of you will know that we broke up whilst living together and so he just moved into another room (We’d have to pay $400 for one of us to break the lease). I haven’t been seeing anybody and nor has he BUT he’s going to a party this weekend. There’s this girl going who he had a thing with before he met me 3 years ago. He said they never had sex and that she wasn’t his type.
Now, I’ve met this girl at a few parties and she was all over my ex who was my boyfriend at the time. Right in front of me. There came a point where I pulled her off of him and said that’s enough. Anyway, he reassured me that he’d never have sex with her and that I didn’t have anything to worry about.
Jump forward to today. I asked him that if she came onto him would he go along with it? It took some time before he finally said ‘of course.’ I know we’re not together but this really bothered me. She was the girl that there was ‘nothing to worry about’ with. I know he’s going to hook-up with someone but I wish it wasn’t her, of all people. I don’t know this girl personally, I’ve only met her a few times so I really can’t judge.
Maybe they won’t even do anything but I’m a huge over thinker and this is just what I do. I can see myself on Sunday night, when he’s out at the party, just completely in my own head thinking up of all the different scenarios that could be taking place. It’s not healthy. I was never the ‘jealous’ girlfriend and it’s not like I’m jealous now, I’m just worried. It’s the reality that it’s really over and he’s ok being with someone else. When you’re with someone for 3 years I believe you learn everything about them and what makes them tick. We’re still friends but seeing him move on is going to be hard.
This is why I could never be famous. Imagine breaking up with someone, and then seeing that they’re with someone else splashed all over magazine covers. IMAGINE THE HEARTBREAK. Yep, I’m definitely not cut out for that famous lifestyle.
I guess I’m finding it hard to move on because this boy was my everything. I have no friends here (I’m from England) and I met him on tinder. I’d never had a ‘proper’ boyfriend before so he was my first one. We went through a lot of shit together and I’m just finding it hard to except the fact that we’re no longer a couple. He also doesn’t help as he’s still very flirty and touchy with me. Constantly wanting cuddles, kisses and he also loves touching my ass. I’ve told him to stop because it’s not fair on me but he always seems to ignore my requests.
Anyway, I’m sure I can find something to distract myself with on Sunday night. These things will happen eventually.
Until next time,
Meliss
Image Cred: https://www.success.com/article/5-everyday-ways-to-practice-positive-self-talk
https://www.lovepanky.com/love-couch/broken-heart/signs-youre-still-dating-your-ex-and-cant-let-go
