Ey up, something the matter?
Inquired the Bear-Man as he watched me pace back and forth along his many shelves of beer with a mild frown on my face.
Aye, nothing's grabbing me. I'm in the mood for something a little... Different...?
The words tripped off my tongue before I could think and I froze in horror.
What had I done!? I had practically invited theBear-Man to have at me with his gnarled penis by saying such a thing.
True enough, he raised himself from behind the counter and ambled toward me, a moist looking grin on his terrible bearded visage.
You fancy something different, eh? Summat wild? Summat... You've never 'ad before?
He shook himself then, like a dog fresh out of water and flexed his big ham-like fists open and closed.
I flinched, normally I would have dropped into an attack stance with the thought of launching seventeen crazy fists at him but how could I do that when I had practically invited him to Tea in Chorley Manor?
Um, well, maybe not actually...
I smiled the way you do at thrushy old ladies who tell you they keep all their money under the mattress at home.
How about something sahwah?
The Bear-Man grinned expectantly.
Sah... sah... S...? Erm what?
I asked, narrowing my right eye questioningly at him as if I was looking through a beef telescope at the moon.
Sahwah? You know, Sahwah?
He grunted, nodding at the same time as if that would snap my brain into understanding him.
I stared at his face really hard as if the clue to what he meant was hidden in his beard.
Nope. Nothing.
I give up. What the fuck is a sahwah?
The Bear-Man looked affronted.
Ah fook off. You've 'ad a SahWah before, I know you have!?
I stuck my lower lip out and thought hard.
Nope. Still nothing.
Is it a kind of fish?
I asked uncertainly.
The Bear-Man pulled a can out from somewhere and brandished it at me as if it were a burning torch and he were in a cave full of bats.
I read the label and flinched at the bizarreness of the flavours.
Oh! Oh! You mean SOUR!! SOW-UR. Sour!
I said.
Aye, that's what ah said... Sahwah.
Sour. Aye go on then. Give us it.
And he did.