We need JESUS!
I barked into the mouth of the electronic communicator thingamajig.
We what?
Replied a tiny metallic squeak as if I were holding a shiny robot mouse and not a sleek communicator interweb device of the future.
It's EASTER dammit! Isn't that when he gets reborn out of an egg?
I paced to and fro in the confines of my working from home cage.
Um, no. I don't think there were any eggs involved in the bible?
Squeaker squeaked again.
But if there were no eggs in the bible what did they have for breakfast? Where were the chickens? And why... WHY DO WE CELEBRATE EASTER WITH CHOCOLATE EGGS?!
Boom! Take that! My logical deductions were second to none and all had best beware they did not cut themselves on the diamond edges of my sharp conclusions.
Um, how the hell should I know? Listen. I was only asking if you wanted a coffee?
Squeaker squeaked once again as if life weren't complicated enough.
So you deny that we need JESUS?
I ranted into the shiny surface of my communicadore.
What would we need Jesus for?
Squeaker blasphemed at me.
To SAVE US! It's EASTER! Shouldn't he be pushing rocks 'n shit to come out and SAVE us?
I paced over to the window and gazed out at the lands beyond.
Isn't he the once and future king? Wasn't his return foretold when our need was great?! We need bloody JESUS!
Outside the window, coronavirus ripped through the lands.
Come Jesus.
I beseeched silently.
Come back to your peoples. Save us.
I promise, we won't say anything about the eggs.
Nothing stirred in the empty streets. Dejected, I turned away.
So are you wanting a coffee or not? I have made you one and it is on the table if you want to come downstairs for it.
Squeaker squawked as if coffee was all that mattered in a world tearing itself apart.
Aye, alright then.
I said heavily, dragging myself over to the stairs.
It looked like Jesus wasn't coming. I started descending the narrow steps from the Attic.
As I did so, I couldn't help but notice my firm and muscular arm reaching out from my chiselled frame.
Wait.
If Jesus wasn't coming perhaps we needed a new Jesus?
A Jesus for the modern age? No eggs required?
I smiled and continued on downward, a spring in my step.
Outside the sun broke through the clouds.
