Wahhooooooooo... Waaaahhoooooooo
The mournful drone of what sounded like a World War 2 air raid siren sounded from outside.
Oh my God??!?! What the hell is that?
Cried the Good Lady in alarm.
I got up from my chair and moved over to the window that looked out the back.
Sounds like a siren, lass. This must be it.
I said with an air of grim finality as if I had been paid a lot of money to mount a tubby person and give them a jolly good rogering.
What do you mean, this must be it? Must be what?!
The Good Lady stood up and moved to the front windows and opened the blinds, peering frantically out as if expecting armageddon to fall from the skies.
I walked over to her and put an arm around her shoulders.
Lockdown, baby. We knew it was coming. This bloody virus, eh?
I set my mouth in a grim line like an Irishman smoking a cigarette whilst shoeing a horse in an old black and white photograph.
But we're not ready?!
She wailed lifting her arms up and then down repeatedly as if attempting to take off.
I tutted inwardly, she would never manage it. She didn't have the required thrust and to be frank, she wasn't as aerodynamic as she used to be.
Outside the sirens faded out to a close leaving an eerie silence in their wake.
I guess we were never gonna be truly ready.
I sighed deeply.
As long as we have each other. That's all that really matters though eh?
I said, raising a positive eyebrow like a sailor chewing a large raisin.
The Good Lady's shoulders slumped.
Yes, I suppose so, We can... Hang on, what's going on?
Instead of the sirens, the opening bars of Master of Puppets started blaring from outside.
The Good Lady trotted over to the back window like a Horse in a paddock spotting a handsome farmer with a fistful of hay.
She looked outside and saw my old Bluetooth speakers set up next to the garage on which I had been slopping tonnes of waterproof paint that morning.
She turned to face me, her face a terrible shade of red.
I straightened up from where I had been bent over laughing and fumbled with my phone to switch the music off.
The Good Lady picked up a tub of playdoh which was lying nearby and flung it at my head.
DADDY-BEAR, How could you?!?!
