It was time. The family sojourn up the cold and bitter north of Scotland. We tried to do it every year to toughen the kids up.
There is nothing like getting forced to swim in the frigid waters of the northern Atlantic ocean whilst your parents throw stones at you if you surface too often to give you a bit of spine.
As usual, the icy wastes of northern Scotland provided scant entertainment as we drove.
Hills and mountains conspired to look like Hulk boobs to make us think that we were away on a jolly and not a brutal endurance test.
We stopped at Loch Lomond so we could rob some tourists to fund our expedition.
Regretfully, a child made the foolish mistake of going in the water.
The giant leeches made short work of him.
The cries of the leech ridden child and the incessant quacking of the ducks were grinding my gears, so we hopped back in the car and continued on.
We passed through many a quaint village but as ever the squint eyed locals clutching their testicles ensured we didn't stay long.
Finally, sanctuary. We arrive in Malaig. The kids went off to hunt and eat crabs.
I found a good spot to settle down in and got out my vital supplies whilst the kids started a fire for the wretched crabs.
Ah yes, this will do...
Cheers!
