I held on to the good lady tight.
You will take care of yourself, won't you?
Of course I will Daddy chops, don't worry. It is only three days.
I stepped back and appraised her as if she was heading to the Antarctic for the long summer. The good lady had been studying to become a Doula and part of that study was to head off into the country to do some mad hippy shit with a bunch of fellow trainee Doula's for three days.
I was half worried that she would come back a different person. And not in a fake breasted, blonde haired good way.
If they try to brainwash you or tell you that men are bad, you will resist won't you?
It's not a cult. They are not going to try and brainwash me.
I reached into a pocket and took out my prized balisong. I flicked it open and closed majestically a few times.
Do you have a blade? Just in case you have to cut your way out of a tricky situation?
The good lady shook her head good-naturedly and punched me on the shoulder.
Don't be a diddy. As if I will need a blade. It's a group of women who are there to support each other.
I looked at her with my best squint eye.
We should have a safe word. So that I can extract you if it all goes pear-shaped. What about "tadger?"
Tadger - Glasgow slang word for "Boaby" which in itself is a Glasgow slang word for Penis.
Haha, very funny. There will be no tadgers and no safe words. It will be fine. It's just a collection of workshops and stuff to celebrate the art of the feminine.
I growled slightly, My inner man wolf smelling metaphorical beef.
Celebrate the art of the hoohaa. I hope that doesn't mean you will be spending the weekend making paper mache vaginas.
The good lady laughed.
If we do, I will make sure to bring one home for you.
Hmm. Alright then.
She picked up her bag and headed out of the door with the Little Boom. I and the little lady waved her off until she was out of sight.
Isn't it exciting that Mummy is going off to become an Earth Maid this weekend, Daddy?
I looked off into the distance.
Yes little one it is.
The little lady grabbed my hand.
And don't worry, if she needs help we can go and revenge her.
I looked down proudly at my little chicken pie and ruffled her hair.
That's my girl.
