Ram-a-dam-a-ding-dong!!
Saturday night beer time and tonight we have dark hearts performing dark arts and inserting figs into the amber nectar.
It doesn't sound right to me but if this is a river I am destined to travel then smear me in butter and push me in!
Yes, indeed, as usual I am talking the utmost gibberish. It's the excitement of new beers. I can't hold it in!!
So what are they??
The first is Dark Arts. A surreal Stout it is claimed.
Hmm. Will it have me rolling in glue and feathers and running up and down the street naked squawking at my neighbors whilst attempting to eat stray cats with my penis?
Some might say that would be surreal?
Me, I say just another Saturday night.
Well, let's bloody see then!!
Looks like a black satin glove with just a tickle of tan/brown froth at the top. Perhaps a glove that had been used for all the wrong reasons eh?
It looks like a solid and dependable brew. But is it?
You know, I think what I like most about this is that there isn't really any fancy gimmicks. It's proper malty and bitter with a tight charcoal smokiness. Then the warm caramel sweetness comes in. I like it a lot.
Get in, you dark art performing surreal thing. 8/10 bahooms!!
Hurrah. I'm in an even better mood now!
And so then, to the main event, the figs, the figs! I feel like I have fallen in with a gang of wild pigs and we are running around someone's yard dodging semi-automatic rifle fire.
So, let's get figgy!
This figgy beer is actually called Jimmy Nail Ale. A chap who was a legend in the North England shires.
As you can see he had a face like a well-skelped arse but was probably relatively handsome by the standards of the North of England.
Handsome enough for someone to dedicate a beer made of figs to him!!!
Is that a compliment?
We'll soon see!
No doubt about it. It's brown. Or broon as they say up there in the concrete wastes of the North of England. A little hazy and a little pleasant.
Might be onto a winner!
Oh fuck. Fucking hot damn. What is that!? Is that figs? Figs can go and fuck off if it is. Who would eat something that tasted like that?!
It almost tastes gamey. Oh my god, my poor mouth!? Get thee behind me Figgy!! 2/10 booms. YUK!
So much for weird vagina fruits then!! I'm off to get something proper to drink!
Cheers everyone!!
Have a good weekend!!!
