And that is why, ladies and gentlemen. That is why... We must... dare to build.
The speaker in front of us solemnly inclined his head as if he were a chicken examining a worm.
There was a silence, then my fellow attendees at the session broke out in rapturous applause. Someone clapped so hard, I feared they might have epilepsy. Another shook their head and stamped their feet as if they were maddened by arse-biting flies.
I stared about the room, aghast at such behaviour. Was this what we were reduced to? Cheering someone for saying random words in order?
It was a bit like watching the comment section on a Steemit Trending post. Except there were only eight of us and not fifty.
My company was engaging on a new Transformation programme. We had had one already. It hadn't worked very well. As a result, we were embarking on Transformation 2.0.
Rather than just planning some work and getting on with it, this meant throwing piles of money at a Transformation Partner to help us on our journey.
Rather than them just planning some work and getting on with it, they had organised a series of breakout sessions entitled Dare to Build.
I had managed to dodge most of them so far but this time I had been snared by El Jefe and made to go.
It was painful.
It was like reading a chbartist post. Unlike reading a chbartist post though, I had successfully made it to the end.
Or so I thought.
The speaker raised his head and lifted his arms up and down in that universal calming motion that looks like someone is smoothing out a pillow.
Now, before we break up and return with fresh heads to the job at hand. Let us do one thing. Have you all heard of the 'elevator spiel?'
Most people nodded, some fearfully.
Now, don't worry, I don't want you to waffle for five minutes. Or even two. Crikey, not even one! But I would ask you all to come up here one by one and give us one sentence. Just one sentence in your own words on why, we should 'Dare to Build'.
Two seats away a woman from HR started flapping at her face as if she was going on heat.
The speaker saw her and motioned her up.
Just a few words. Just a few, go on. You can do this.
He murmured as if cajoling his penis to poke out of its burrow.
We... We should dare to build because... It's the right thing to do!
Her face flamed with embarrassment which quickly turned to pride as the Speaker led us in a round of applause.
Next, was a suit from Finance.
Only by daring to build can we hope to achieve a strong foundation for our future business?
He half stated, half asked.
Again, the applause.
It all went quiet.
The speaker held a hand out to me as if across a crowded dance floor.
Again, it was silent.
The speaker opened his mouth as if to lend me some encouragement but I shook my head, waving a hand out to the side as if gentling a large cat and he stopped.
I nodded at my colleagues.
In order to survive in the fast-paced, ever changing world of ICT, we daren't not... not build.
The speaker made a face as if chewing farts as he tried to figure out my double negatives.
I winked at him and called out...
Next!
