How many days without you ... all days,
how many months without you ... all months,
how many rains wanting to hold you,
how many hot days I want to have you near and I only receive indifference from you, the indifference of not knowing you loved by me because I hide what everyone can see but only I feel. And it is that you knock me out, you make me think at every moment.
Being close to you I am able to face the world, but without you I am a coward without wanting to fight. You weaken me like someone who does not eat for days, like not breathing for a few seconds, just seeing you near the one I think you love, spills my heart, suffocates me because I feel that you take away all that remains of me. It hurts so much to look for you and not find you, yes, to find yourself next to your lover hurts in the bones. Selfish for loving you all, for loving you and not wanting to share with anyone.
It is not daring to want to invade all, but selfishness to stay in your eyes. In the end, I want your happiness and if it is at your side, I know how to take the step of knowing that I am a loser. It hurts to know that I am part of your life and not your whole life, as perhaps it can be, it hurts to know that I am only your friend, when in my most desired dreams I want to be your world, it hurts to know that I own nothing of yours, Only your smile and your look that I have engraved in my thoughts,
unknown jealousies hurt, unknown to you, but anchored in me, anchored in the deepest of the value of the insecure. I just want an opportunity to show you that I can love you more than him, because loving you must be something magical, magical because you have my will and my thoughts, where my feelings are open for you to live in them. I would like to get away from me but I do not want to lose you, I would like to get away from you but I do not want to escape.
To get away is to lose everything: lose imagination and the joy of being a madman who wants to be every second by your side. Wanting to run the risk of giving you everything I feel, dreams where you appear to make everything beautiful: running bikes with you, cooking with you, fixing the garden with you, doing exercises with you ... And everything with you because with you nothing knows everything and without you everything tastes like nothing.
It's that reality hurts ... Even if it seems to be standing, I just wait for the cruel pain that comes from knowing you by your side ...
I'm loving you nice but it's exasperating.
@medardo.