I do my fair share of marriage counseling - just comes with the job. I've also seen a marriage counselor with my wife (we've been married now 13.5 years) - and the most important piece of counseling I received and give is this; be independent and then be married. When someone places their main identity in being a spouse, they aren't able to be themselves. The trick is to be able to create happiness ALONE and then choose to be happy while married. Activities together is crucial and activities apart is crucial - you need both to be balanced. It's counterintuitive but being too close isn't a healthy thing...it's called an enmeshed relationship.
